Using Others Wounds Your Soul

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Thought for the Week

“Have you ever manipulated another person for your own selfish ends, and then felt remorse? What did you do next? Did you fix that bridge? Or did you burn it?” ~The Wishing Map

We were created for something more than merely using one another for our own temporal ends. Therefore, living as if we were not proves to be futile, pointless, and destructive. Apart from the more twisted souls among us, does anyone ever actually wish on their death bed that they’d manipulated more people, gotten their way more often?

We’re wired to believe we’re something more, and to find out what that something is. And we’re wired to share the journey of, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin calls it, spiritual beings having a human experience.” In fact, ultimately our human experience is communal, it can’t be lived alone.

Which is why using others, as natural as it may be to our fleshly nature, is counterproductive to our ultimate purpose. When we place stones in our fellow travelers’ paths, we are the ones who trip over them.

So remove those stones, ask forgiveness, fix the bridge. It may take years, it may leave scars, but it’ll be worth it. And then let us press on…


About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Quips and Quotes, The Wishing Map and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Using Others Wounds Your Soul

  1. Jon says:

    Thanks Mitch! Would that all adopt this loving practice! Not my will, Jesus, but Yours be done!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. José Manuel says:

    Nice post! Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Amen to that, Mitch!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love this message!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Now even when I’m just chatting with a friend cos I’m bored,I feel manipulative moreso when I tell them stuff like I’m insecure. I don’t know what a healthy friendship feels like, can you help out some more. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mitchteemley says:

      Hi Emilly. I’m not a psychologist, but I don’t think chatting with a friend because you’re bored or telling them you’re insecure is necessarily using them. Be honest with them: tell them you’re bored or feeling insecure, so they can decide for themselves how to respond. They may just want you to do that; sharing our insecurities with the right close friend can make them feel valued and trusted. They may just be bored, too, or they may be busy right now and appreciate your letting them know it’s OK to talk some other time; they’ll appreciate your showing them that respect. More typically, though, using others is manipulating them to do what you want, even though you know it may not be in their best interest. Approach friendships prayerfully, trying to put them first, and knowing that the best friends will respond by treating you the same way.

      Liked by 4 people

  6. venzvox says:

    I think everyone tries the manipulation thing when they are young but realise that the remorse and regret about doing such a thing is too much to bear (well, most people. I am guessing others get quite skilled at it). Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Piano girl says:

    Thanks for the reminder.
    “In fact, ultimately our human experience is communal, it can’t be lived alone.” ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Excellent and a great life lesson there!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Pingback: Using Others Wounds Your Soul - Live Christ Centered

  10. “Does anyone ever actually wish on their death bed that they’d manipulated more people, gotten their way more often?” such a good, and thought-provoking, question! Thanks for this post, Mitch 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  11. gpavants says:


    When working with fellow creatives I often pray it is for the Lord’s glory and their benefit. I always am concerned not to use people.

    In Christ,


    Liked by 3 people

  12. markbierman says:

    It’s like the saying. “Love people and use things.”

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Pingback: Using Others Wounds Your Soul | Restored Ministries Blog

  14. I think those who are in the habit of manipulating others don’t see it as such and don’t find anything wrong with it.

    Liked by 1 person

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