I’m not a big shoe guy. In fact, I own like five pair. So no one’s likely to call me “the Imelda Marcos of America.” However, when I stumbled across these shoes (that’s a pun…sort of), I kept going. I had no idea there were so many bizarre forms of footwear in existence–now and throughout history! Enjoy. Which, in most cases, means not wearing any of these.
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“To understand a man, you’ve got to walk a mile in his shoes.” ~Old Proverb
“I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes…they were the wrong size.” ~Starley Ard
“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ‘Got any shoes you’re not using?’” ~Steven Wright*
“I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, ‘Where’d she go?’ and I have to say, ‘I’m down here.’” ~Marian Keyes
“He is an Italian, he doesn’t care if you break some law a little bit, as long as you wear beautiful shoes.” ~Anne Fortier
“Why you’ll never see a woman with a bomb in her shoe: We have too much respect for shoes.” ~Carolyn V. Hamilton
“What would your shoes say about the things you do every day?” ~Sherley Mondesir-Prescott
“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” ~Martina Boone
“The job of feet is walking, but their hobby is dancing.” ~Amit Kalantri
*P.S.: I realize Stephen Wright’s comment is insensitive. In case you’re unfamiliar with him, his comedy centers on his own cluelessness and skewed perspective.