Craziest Shoes Ever

I’m not a big shoe guy. In fact, I own like five pair. So no one’s likely to call me “the Imelda Marcos of America.” However, when I stumbled across these shoes (that’s a pun…sort of), I kept going. I had no idea there were so many bizarre forms of footwear in existence–now and throughout history! Enjoy. Which, in most cases, means not wearing any of these.

Click on any image to enlarge it, to read the caption, or to begin slide show.

 “To understand a man, you’ve got to walk a mile in his shoes.” ~Old Proverb

“I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes…they were the wrong size.” ~Starley Ard

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ‘Got any shoes you’re not using?’” ~Steven Wright*

“I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, ‘Where’d she go?’ and I have to say, ‘I’m down here.’” ~Marian Keyes

   “He is an Italian, he doesn’t care if you break some law a little bit, as long as you wear beautiful shoes.” ~Anne Fortier

“Why you’ll never see a woman with a bomb in her shoe: We have too much respect for shoes.” ~Carolyn V. Hamilton

       “What would your shoes say about the things you do every day?” ~Sherley Mondesir-Prescott

“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” ~Martina Boone

“The job of feet is walking, but their hobby is dancing.” ~Amit Kalantri

*P.S.: I realize Stephen Wright’s comment is insensitive. In case you’re unfamiliar with him, his comedy centers on his own cluelessness and skewed perspective.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Craziest Shoes Ever

  1. Mischenko says:

    LOL! I love the Snow White heels, but all the shows with hooves are a bit disturbing! 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Since the pandemic, I haven’t been wearing shoes. Looking at what you have on offer, I’m going to keep it that way.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Relax... says:

    I love Steven Wright’s humor– and yours! Nonetheless, I may have to sleep with the lights on after this post — all my shoes live too close to me!

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Eva Hnizdo says:

    What a great blog and photos! Love it.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Rocky says:

    The gold pair were first prize in the Christmas Story. The wooden crate was stomped with “Extra Fragile”. That’s French for mighty nice.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. yakpro2015 says:

    Mae West’s Wild 9.5-Inch Double Decker Heels

    Joseph Yakovetic 4480 Powderhorn Place Drive Clermont, Florida 34711

    mobile: 909.241.6088

    SDG Soli Deo Gloria “To God Alone the Glory”

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Linda Lee/Lady Quixote says:

    I’ll take a pair of Hug Me Elvis shoes in blue suede, please. Size 8.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Sue Cass says:

    Some of those are lethal weapons.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Romika says:

    I was feeling so sleepy and strangely this just made me sit straight. 😀 Thank you, Mitch, great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lisa Beth says:

    Stared st the barefoot tie-ups…look too real! Yes they’re bizarre but some are scary! Except the banana shoe, might like to slide right in!
    Thanks Mitch!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. says:

    Oh my gosh I thought 3” spikes were bad.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. My mother was the queen of pinching pennies. In the summertime, if we were outgrowing our old tennis shoes, Mom would cut the toe out of the front, letting our toes hang over the end. Before school started, she’d be sure we had a new pair. But these silly things would get us through the summer! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Some of those are just creepy lol

    Liked by 2 people

  14. The ones on top of the stools might not be a bad idea in flood situations … just sayin’ …
    Could’ve used those snow-plow shoes in Michigan, too.
    The Marian Keyes quote reminded me of the 70’s sit com when the woman in the leg cast explained that she had fallen off her shoes. :/

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I’m a fan of shoes–especially for dressing up. The funkier, the better. Great post, Mitch. God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Finally – a real shoe phone, but I’m not sure that Agent 86 would wear those. Not even sure Agent 99 would, but they might if they were out trying to stop the KAOS.

    Liked by 4 people

  17. alison41 says:

    Yikes!!! there’s at least ten Fantasy novels waiting to be let out of your photo-blog. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. jorjagrael says:

    I’m not a shoe person either, but I think I need those flamingo heels!

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Gary Fultz says:

    A college friend had huge sasquatch shoes with toes. After about 15 practical jokes in the dark someone’s dog took them, part of his jeans and not a little skin.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. johnlmalone says:

    a terrific amalgam of images; you did well collating them; and yes, I saw Stephen Wright live; a terrific act — a little crazy like these shoes 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  21. johnlmalone says:

    ps great quotes too !

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Michele Lee says:

    Oh wow! My shoes suddenly look very boring. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  23. catsartpics says:

    Some of those shoes are pretty far out and really amazing looking!
    Thanks for posting all of the pictures of those shoes.
    Have a good weekend!

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Some of those are horrible!

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Kally says:

    Oh my! What an article! If I can go barefooted, I’ll go barefooted. Hanged up my heels after I stopped working in the corporate world.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Fun post, although I found myself feeling very sorry for the poor little fish in the aquarium shoes. I personally love to go barefoot (hence my blogger name), but this year of staying home means I have been almost constantly barefoot. It’s hard to even put shoes on anymore…might have to go up a width in size.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Carla says:

    I can’t see most of those being worn except in shows etc. The historic ones are a bit scary, especially the lotus shoes. Very interesting post, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. lilyofthevalley777 says:

    Quite the montage of shoes. The cobra pair were pretty bazaar. You think they were made out of real cobra skin? Eew…Loved the snow shovel shoe idea. I think it may gain some tread in the snowier areas. You could put your kids to work plowing driveways and sidewalks. Variety is the spice of life, eh? and no, I’m not of Canadian ancestry. 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Brilliant post! I love the variety of your posts. These images really entertained me.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Vivi says:

    I have never seen anything like before! Who wears them?

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Vinny says:

    Seeing those shoes makes me want to walk around in bare feet….

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Wow, amazing post, Mitch! 🙂 I go barefoot most of the time. If I have to wear shoes, I have a pair of thongs!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Pingback: Craziest Shoes Ever – sports shoes for men

  34. Tara Pilling says:

    I dont think I would wear any of those lol.
    Tara (Kelles’ daughter)

    Liked by 1 person

  35. mitchteemley says:

    Wise lady. Good to “see” you here, Tara! Say hey to your mom for me.


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