I’m not a big shoe guy. In fact, I own like five pair. So no one’s likely to call me “the Imelda Marcos of America.” However, when I stumbled across these shoes (that’s a pun…sort of), I kept going. I had no idea there were so many bizarre forms of footwear in existence–now and throughout history! Enjoy. Which, in most cases, means not wearing any of these.
Click on any image to enlarge it, to read the caption, or to begin slide show.
“To understand a man, you’ve got to walk a mile in his shoes.” ~Old Proverb
“I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes…they were the wrong size.” ~Starley Ard
“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ‘Got any shoes you’re not using?’” ~Steven Wright*
“I never wear flats. My shoes are so high that sometimes when I step out of them, people look around in confusion and ask, ‘Where’d she go?’ and I have to say, ‘I’m down here.’” ~Marian Keyes
“He is an Italian, he doesn’t care if you break some law a little bit, as long as you wear beautiful shoes.” ~Anne Fortier
“Why you’ll never see a woman with a bomb in her shoe: We have too much respect for shoes.” ~Carolyn V. Hamilton
“What would your shoes say about the things you do every day?” ~Sherley Mondesir-Prescott
“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” ~Martina Boone
“The job of feet is walking, but their hobby is dancing.” ~Amit Kalantri
♥
*P.S.: I realize Stephen Wright’s comment is insensitive. In case you’re unfamiliar with him, his comedy centers on his own cluelessness and skewed perspective.
Mitch Teemley 
LOL! I love the Snow White heels, but all the shows with hooves are a bit disturbing! 😂
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Since the pandemic, I haven’t been wearing shoes. Looking at what you have on offer, I’m going to keep it that way.
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Good choice, Liz!
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I love Steven Wright’s humor– and yours! Nonetheless, I may have to sleep with the lights on after this post — all my shoes live too close to me!
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;>)
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What a great blog and photos! Love it.
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The gold pair were first prize in the Christmas Story. The wooden crate was stomped with “Extra Fragile”. That’s French for mighty nice.
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Mae West’s Wild 9.5-Inch Double Decker Heels
Joseph Yakovetic 4480 Powderhorn Place Drive Clermont, Florida 34711
mobile: 909.241.6088
SDG Soli Deo Gloria “To God Alone the Glory”
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Wild indeed, Joe. https://footwearnews.com/2016/fashion/designers/mae-west-double-decker-heels-look-inside-fidm-vaults-historical-hollywood-footwear-shoes-230492/
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I’ll take a pair of Hug Me Elvis shoes in blue suede, please. Size 8.
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Some of those are lethal weapons.
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I was feeling so sleepy and strangely this just made me sit straight. 😀 Thank you, Mitch, great post.
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Stared st the barefoot tie-ups…look too real! Yes they’re bizarre but some are scary! Except the banana shoe, might like to slide right in!
Thanks Mitch!
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Oh my gosh I thought 3” spikes were bad.
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My mother was the queen of pinching pennies. In the summertime, if we were outgrowing our old tennis shoes, Mom would cut the toe out of the front, letting our toes hang over the end. Before school started, she’d be sure we had a new pair. But these silly things would get us through the summer! 🙂
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She was a true fashionista, Penny.
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🙂
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Some of those are just creepy lol
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The ones on top of the stools might not be a bad idea in flood situations … just sayin’ …
Could’ve used those snow-plow shoes in Michigan, too.
The Marian Keyes quote reminded me of the 70’s sit com when the woman in the leg cast explained that she had fallen off her shoes.
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I’m a fan of shoes–especially for dressing up. The funkier, the better. Great post, Mitch. God bless!
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You too, Nancy.
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Finally – a real shoe phone, but I’m not sure that Agent 86 would wear those. Not even sure Agent 99 would, but they might if they were out trying to stop the KAOS.
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;>) “Oh, I’m sorry, is that my phone? I thought it was your phone.”
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Yikes!!! there’s at least ten Fantasy novels waiting to be let out of your photo-blog. Thanks for the inspiration!
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I’m not a shoe person either, but I think I need those flamingo heels!
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A college friend had huge sasquatch shoes with toes. After about 15 practical jokes in the dark someone’s dog took them, part of his jeans and not a little skin.
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a terrific amalgam of images; you did well collating them; and yes, I saw Stephen Wright live; a terrific act — a little crazy like these shoes 🙂
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ps great quotes too !
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Oh wow! My shoes suddenly look very boring. 😂
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;>)
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Some of those shoes are pretty far out and really amazing looking!
Thanks for posting all of the pictures of those shoes.
Have a good weekend!
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U 2, Cat!
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Thanks
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Some of those are horrible!
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Oh my! What an article! If I can go barefooted, I’ll go barefooted. Hanged up my heels after I stopped working in the corporate world.
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Fun post, although I found myself feeling very sorry for the poor little fish in the aquarium shoes. I personally love to go barefoot (hence my blogger name), but this year of staying home means I have been almost constantly barefoot. It’s hard to even put shoes on anymore…might have to go up a width in size.
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I can’t see most of those being worn except in shows etc. The historic ones are a bit scary, especially the lotus shoes. Very interesting post, Mitch.
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Quite the montage of shoes. The cobra pair were pretty bazaar. You think they were made out of real cobra skin? Eew…Loved the snow shovel shoe idea. I think it may gain some tread in the snowier areas. You could put your kids to work plowing driveways and sidewalks. Variety is the spice of life, eh? and no, I’m not of Canadian ancestry. 🙃
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Brilliant post! I love the variety of your posts. These images really entertained me.
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Thanks, Deborah. I spend too much time on these. But I do enjoy putting them together!
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We enjoy seeing them so thank you!
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I have never seen anything like before! Who wears them?
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Seeing those shoes makes me want to walk around in bare feet….
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Wow, amazing post, Mitch! 🙂 I go barefoot most of the time. If I have to wear shoes, I have a pair of thongs!
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Pingback: Craziest Shoes Ever – sports shoes for men
I dont think I would wear any of those lol.
Tara (Kelles’ daughter)
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Wise lady. Good to “see” you here, Tara! Say hey to your mom for me.
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