Doubtful Truths and Dubious Advice

R88f986f4e382cb6af29deb4aa66e98eb

Guest Blog by Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes

When I asked the blogger who goes by the handle masercot his actual name-name, he replied “you can call me Charlie.” In other words, Charlie may or may not be his actual name. He’s like that, cagey–and hilarious. So enjoy these wise(acre) bits of wisdom from “Charlie.”

Urban Myths

“An urban myth is essentially just a lie that sounds so much like a lie that it cannot possibly be a lie.”

Dieting Tips

“Sugars are ‘empty calories’ and because they are empty, other calories can hide inside of them like a Trojan horse. Instead, enjoy the candy-like sweetness of chard or endive.”

“Any food is diet food if you can find an alternative with more calories. For example, a quarter stick of butter on a baked potato has fewer calories than the same potato with a scoop of fudge-ripple ice cream.”

Stationary Bikes

 “I pedaled a stationary bike backwards for nine hours and, when I was done, I was morbidly obese.”

“I have a baby seat I use on the back of my stationary bike when I feel my granddaughter needs to not have a change in scenery.”

“You cannot tell if a stationary bike loves you or if it just stays with you because it cannot go anywhere else.”

Orthodontia

“Braces are a cosmetic procedure. Like a face-lift. If a face-lift were done without anesthesia, one square centimeter at a time, and with scary disfiguring scars.”

“The worst part is, after they were removed, I realized that having braces wasn’t what was destroying my social life.”

Random Revelations

“I hope that time machines are never so cheap that everyone could have one because teenagers will just take them out at night and race them; and I have no interest in going all the way out to the year 5121 in my bathrobe and bailing my grandson out of jail.”

“I don’t like to judge people, but I will never fall asleep in the same room with a woman who collects straight razors and photographs of people’s throats.”

“Sometimes I worry about cancer, but then I realize that cancer can probably take care of itself.”

 Depression

 “It’s depressing to watch people making the same mistakes their entire lives when, with a little thought, they could be making all new mistakes.”

“It’s depressing to see so many people not living up to their full potential. Certainly, I have the ability to help them with that, but I don’t feel like it.”

“It’s depressing to look back on a life well-lived and suddenly notice that it isn’t my life I’m looking back on.”

ø

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Doubtful Truths and Dubious Advice

  1. tidalscribe says:

    They are so funny, love the last one.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. masercot says:

    Thanks, Mitch. And, my name really is “Charlie”…

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Wow! Two days of laughter in a row, MItch! What are you trying to do, change the world?

    Liked by 4 people

  4. scottf4107 says:

    These are great, a few smiles came to my face as I read them. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing!

    PS – my wife and I are planning on watching Healing River this weekend. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  5. These are so hilarious!!! This one beats them all, in my view: “Sugars are ‘empty calories’ and because they are empty, other calories can hide inside of them like a Trojan horse.” Thanks so much for sharing Charlie’s view of life’s insanity and brightening my day with uncontrollable laughter 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  6. These are hilarous! My favorite is “It’s depressing to see so many people not living up to their full potential. Certainly, I have the ability to help them with that, but I don’t feel like it.” (Oops. Did I say that out loud?)

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Masercot is one blog I never skip over. I can always use a good laugh.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Thanks to this, I’m sure I will crack up uncontrollably the next time I eat a baked potato with butter on it.
    Now to start thinking of a few new mistakes to make with my life.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Tulendra says:

    Our world is full of lie where truth is just only drop of water in Ocean sad but true😂💜

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s