Photo: Train from Sarajevo to Mostar (prg2sg.wordpress.com)
It’s hard for me to believe he was born nearly 100 years ago this month. But it’s even harder for me to believe that I’ve outlived my father by 25 years; I could end up living twice as long as he did. Of course, part of this is due to the fact that I’ve stood on his shoulders–in more ways than one. Because we were alike? In some ways, yes, but in many other ways we were opposites. Which made my last year with him particularly complicated–and more precious to me with every year that passes.
Katie & Evee, two UK-based sisters, originally launched their blog site The Grief Reality as a means of coping with the passing of their mother, and their heartfelt entries are truly touching. But what makes their site even more universal is the powerful way in which they’ve expanded it to encompass others’ stories of loss and healing, as well.
Recently, they posted the story of my final days with my father. I encourage you to read it if you haven’t before, and then go on to explore their other posts en route to following them, which I know you’ll want to do. Click on the link below to read the post, and to further explore this life-affirming blog site:
What an important story that we all need to read. My favorite part was when your Mother said “You told him you love him every day for three months” which gave you great comfort. Thanks Mitch!
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Me too, Janet. I still get choked up when I think about her saying that.
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The death of our parent’s is a grief we never really truly get over,for if it wasn’t for them we would not be here. That is a bond we have till we too pass on. Fortunately God knows our heart and mind and understands how we feel even when the grief is so deep we cannot utter a word. Thank God for memories mitch they allow our loved ones to live on well past the years they lived. Be Blessed.
Julia
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You too, Julia, and thank you for this thoughtful observation.
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A lovely piece, such a shock and probably not the best way for hospitals to deal with the family of deceased. I’m going to have another look at The Grief Reality as I lost my husband in September and it might help our daughter and sons as well. He had palliative care and died at home so it was far from the traumatic experience you and your mother had.
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Still, a hard rite of passage, no matter the circumstances, Janet, and so recent in your case. Love and prayers for all of you.
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I rarely click on links, but I’m super glad that this time I did.
Your story brought tears as I thought about losing my own dad. We weren’t much alike either; most of our conversations were like “John Wayne meets Mister Rogers.” Of course, my dad was “The Duke.”
However, I DID love him, and He loved me too. Thankfully, we got to tell each other so before he died.
Dad died in 2007, followed by mom in 2011, and, for me at least, you don’t get through grief—it’s always close by. It gets better, but the emptiness left by a loved one’s passing never completely goes away.
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Thank you for your touching and very relatable reflection, David.
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Moist eyes again. My story is similar. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 22 and away at college. Our relationship was distant mostly because we were so different. I knew he loved me but never felt that he was proud of me. At his funeral I found out otherwise. Now I’ve outlived him and have accomplished a few things. Though God has provided me with several father figures who have been proud of me, there remains this small void where I wish my Dad could have know what I’ve accomplished in life. I guess I’m still processing the grief.
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Ah, been there, my friend. Your story is your own, of course, but you might identify somewhat with this post, as well: https://mitchteemley.com/2018/06/11/do-you-love-me-dad-3/
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Having just lost my dad this past May, this was truly a touching story. My dad and I weren’t very close until the last few months of his life. Thanks to the pandemic, I was free to sit with him everyday for the last two months of his life. It’s still difficult to believe that I now refer to him in the past tense, but I’m thankful for the time we had at the end. Thank you for sharing your story.
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So glad you had that time with him.
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What a great honest blog.
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Thank you, Vinny. And good to meet you.
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And good to meet you too.
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Oh Mitch! This brought tears, thanks for sharing your touching story!! ❤
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I’m glad it touched you, Joy.
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I lost my dad twice: once to brain damage from a heart attack and then to death.
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That had to be rough, Liz.
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Pingback: A Tribute to My Father | Talmidimblogging
I lost my dad in ’07. He was 90 years and three months to the day. He had Alzheimer’s but he had a moment of cognancy and asked me, “How are the kids.” I rushed into a litany of updates. My words seem to wash over him like a baptism. That is my final memory of him.
You’ve touched deep heartstrings. Thanks and God bless!
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So glad you had that moment, Nancy. And you too!
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Deeply moving tribute Mitch. I know you’ve stirred many hearts, including mine since my parents are 90. I cherish every day I can be with them.
I hope you and your family are well and enjoy the holidays.
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Thank you, Lisa, likewise.
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Losing our parents is one of the greatest tragedies we face as humans.Thank you for sharing your grief with us .Much strength and love to you.Katie and Eve has opened a platform where we support and comfort each other with our own unique journey of loss and every stage we go through our loss .I am so grateful to both of them .Here is my If you would like to read ;
https://thegriefreality.blog/2020/09/03/as-told-by-deepika/
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I will!
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Thank you so much for sharing our blog! It’s so wonderful to have stumbled upon this comment! We are so grateful for you 🙂
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Thank you for writing this post also my father would have been 100 this year and last week it was 30 years since his passing. I feel as time goes on the grief is stronger and harder to deal with.
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So sorry to hear that.
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Thank you
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Beautiful story. I’m an only, too. And my dad and I had some years where we weren’t as close. He was less conservative than me, at the time. I would never call him “liberal.” Yeah, he was a Dem, but not really “liberal.” But as I got older, I began to see things more the way he did, and we got closer. I’ve gotten less conservative, as I have gotten older (I started to say “more liberal,” but, like my dad, I would not call myself “liberal,” although many of my friends would). My dad passed in 2015. I still miss him a lot. We enjoyed frequent conversations about baseball, so baseball isn’t as fun for me as it used to be.
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I remember your original post, and it was very touching. You’re right, just love people while we can, and let them know it too.
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Thank you for sharing your story. After the death of my husband, a friend once said, “What’s tellable is bearable.” In the grief journey, I have learned there is much truth in that statement. Blessings to you.
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There is indeed much truth in that statement, Manette. Blessings to you, as well.
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Going to check it out
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Wow, thank you so much for sharing our blog 🙂 It means so so much to us. What a wonderful community to be apart of xx
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The honor is mine, truly. Blessings.
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A loving and beautiful tribute🤍.
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What a touching tribute, Mitch. May God continue to provide peace and love to you and yours in every situation. 💚
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Thank you, Karla, and likewise.
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Pls Follow my blog
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I take it you’re new to this? Tip: It’s blogging etiquette to at least pretend you’re interested in someone else’s blog before asking them to follow yours. Have a good blogventure, my friend!
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I am sorry for that, thanks
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