Deep Thoughts (While Avoiding Weekend Chores)

An occasional frequent weekly series

I have a theory. Bear with me, it’s kind of crazy, I know, but… What if conspiracy theories are actually just conspiracy theories?

I’m back from the supermarket. This is always challenging for me. Not only because I have to wear a mask, but because I suffer from Advanced EIOTS (Everything in One Trip Syndrome). Please don’t laugh. Millions have contracted the condition this year.

Things are getting better! Have you noticed that the old expression, “I don’t give a sh-t” has lately become, “I don’t give two sh-ts”? Apparently, people now give at least one sh-t!

Linked-In just informed me that my profile was being read by the U.S. Air Force. I knew I should have done a better job hiding my spacecraft. I’ve sent a message to the Mother Ship: Ħ≈ᲴᲶᲱ჻Ჭᵹᵲᶞ₾₹ⴟ.

And now I wait.

Christmas, 2020 Christmas 2020And you thought the first half of the year was surprising.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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30 Responses to Deep Thoughts (While Avoiding Weekend Chores)

  1. Thanks for the lift this morning. Love the art with Santa and the Aliens. I always feel like I’m one of them. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Thank you for the laughs! I was all set to continue reading more deep thoughts of a smiliar nature. More, please?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Heidi Viars says:

    Either there are a heck of a lot chores waiting for you, or you are just plain brilliant. I am still laughing.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Personally I suffer from, NOTL “Not on the List” syndrome. If it’s not on the shopping list, it’s not going in the cart – except for cookies and pizza, you don’t need a list for them.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Linda Lee/Lady Quixote says:

    Wait, it’s the weekend??

    Sorry, I haven’t read the actual post yet. Your title just threw me for a minute. Whew. Okay. Right, today is Saturday.

    Now that I am properly oriented to the correct day of the week, I will read the post. (How did it get to be Saturday already?)

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Linda Lee/Lady Quixote says:

    I’m back. My stepdaughter works in a DOD job at a special ops Air Force base. She has a friend at the Pentagon (a general). I can ask her to ask him to look into it, for you. 😉

    It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a UFO. The last time I saw one was… hmmm… around 1993. Come to think of it, I was with a retired Air Force captain at the time. He used to be in radar, before he switched to missiles. I’ll never forget what he said when I told him to look up in the sky. “What the heck is that? Nothing we have flies anywhere close to that fast!” Too bad he missed the part where one UFO fired something at another UFO, just before they both zipped into warp speed and took off in opposite directions.

    Is that UFO story true? Maybe… maybe not. But my stepdaughter’s DOD job is totally true. However, I believe her general friend has recently retired. 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  7. It’s entirely plausible, Mitch.
    I enjoyed the Santa 🎅 art work. Like someone else said, you always leave we wanting more. That’s good, because I keep coming back.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. badfinger20 (Max) says:

    Fun post Mitch.

    Off topic: We finally saw Notzilla and loved it. I loved the writing…the Chuck Jones mention was great. I’m going to watch it again to catch all of the dialog.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Bruce Cooper says:

    You know Mitch, just between you and I, I kinda always suspected . . . 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. trE says:

    I hope they don’t come and take you off somewhere sinister and deeply-hidden, Mitch! Lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. TEP336 says:

    You have no idea how badly I needed that laugh, Mitch. This year has been insane, and next year promises to be very interesting as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Sometimes I just want a “laughing” button! 🤣😂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Kally says:

    Lol! This is a good one. I’m forwarding this to my husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. That was good, especially the first one about conspiracy theories. Something to remember: Scientists usually use the term “theory” to refer to an idea for which they have some evidence.
    Of course, THEY don’t want you to think there’s any evidence for conspiracy theories. And if you ask me who THEY are, that just means you must be one of them!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. rahjomuelvin says:

    Hahaha. 😅 I have EIOTS too.

    Liked by 1 person

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