Weekend Chores

Me Doing Weekend Chores

Lizard 'playing guitar' - not Photoshopped (photo by Aditya Permana)

“I’ve been looking over the list of spring chores I made up last fall, and darned if they aren’t fall chores, after all.” ~Robert Breault

“Normal Person’s Weekly Chore List:
1. Clean kitchen
2. Clean bathroom
3. Clean entire rest of domicile
Cleaning-Impaired Person’s Weekly Chore List:
1. Don’t get peanut butter on sheets”
~Dave Barry

“I fought the lawn and the lawn won.” ~Unknown

“My neighbor asked me if he could use my lawnmower.  I told him he could — as long as he didn’t take it out of my yard.” ~Unknown

“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.” ~Erma Bombeck

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Weekend Chores

  1. BluntPathway says:

    I still think cleanliness is next to godliness. It’s waaaay better to pray in a clean space.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Helen says:

    I admit, I clicked to read this post because of the picture you posted. I love it even though I don’t like lizards much lol

    Liked by 3 people

  3. PaperKutzs says:

    dreaming of playing air guitar…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yesterday I finally hung the rod and draperies that I bought for the living room two years ago. The instructions that came with the rod said the job should take 30 minutes. It took me 3 hours.

    I figure I’m good for at least two more years. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Just remember that it’s impossible to get one thing clean without getting something else dirty. If you vacuum the rug, sooner or later you’ll need to empty the bag …

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Priceless. Hilarious. And that picture of you doing your chores by liaising around with your leaf guitar, not even have installed the strings. Excellent image. Thanks for the laughs from deep in the belly. And, Dave Barry… don’t get peanut butter on the sheets. Priceless.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I just walked down the hall and saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Oh, a dog hair ball. Wait. Does it have eyes? I see the vacuum cleaner, check, the bag’s empty and ready, — and yes, it’s been used — but, nah. I just pushed the peanut butter further back in the cabinet to be safe and came back to this picture that says it all. It’s just priceless, Mitch. The pic is like Dave Barry DNA… full-on evidence that the cocktail of the endorphins released by laughter must certainly be healthier than the temporary relief I will get from switching on the vacuum. And heck, vacuuming is just part of straightening and dusting. And, those things are gateway drugs to outright cleaning.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Ha! I really like doing chores and cleaning house. I’m still trying to teach that joy to my hubby. He’s getting better at feeling the fun in it, but it’s taken a good 30 years. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Erika says:

    Haha, I should have thought of that trick with the lawnmower as long as I had to mow the lawn myself… lol

    Liked by 2 people

  9. 😂 Love the quotes, especially the burnt cheese and religion! 😂 … but I might have to disagree: removing burnt cheese might bring an encounter with either my God or the devil, depending on how stuck that cheese is! 😂🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Funny collection of quotes.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m right with you on this one!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. TEP336 says:

    I confess only to the possibility that I might be “cleaning-impaired”…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. rothpoetry says:

    I got a big smile from these… and I agree with them all!
    Dwight

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I love the picture 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh, so good!! Bonus for Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. My husband had the “I fought the lawn” quote on a t-shirt. (Picture of tall grass with the top of a guy’s head barely visible).

    Liked by 1 person

  17. China Dream says:

    too cool, loved the picture you used for this post… waves a happy good start to the day .. to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. oneta hayes says:

    So much fun. I loved the spring chores/fall chores line.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Gotta watch out for the peanut butter. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Vanely says:

    I am totally going to say that lawnmower but next time someone asks to borrow mine 😂 Nice blog post🙌🏼

    Liked by 1 person

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