Why I Don’t Do Drugs

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Oh, I did, trust me. Like a lot of 18-year-olds, I dabbled in anything forbidden or frowned upon by old people over 30. It was the era when drugs were going to “expand our consciousness.” I’d watched the cast of Hair take communion with pot and then get naked while singing, “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius,” and I wanted in!

So one night, my band’s new “manager” (that means he hung around with us but couldn’t play an instrument) brought over some hash (marijuana resin). I’d never smoked before, so I coughed uncontrollably while my friends expanded their consciousness (giggled about things that weren’t funny). I smoked—this can’t be true, but it’s what I remember—seven pipefuls by myself, all the while saying, “It doesn’t work on me.”

Then it did.

On the record player, Led Zeppelin had just begun the opening crunch-crunch-tink-tink-tink of “Good Times, Bad Times.” I thought, That’s the most profound thing ever recorded! Then suddenly I was alone. On a lawn chair. At a drive-in movie theater. Getting a moon-tan while the Zep screamed out of 8,000 tiny metal speakers. 

Somehow I got home and crawled into bed. My cat Ginchy, my fur-brother, climbed in next to me. “Good ol’ Ginchy,” I said. Then his eyes reddened and he sprouted tentacles. I gasped and shoved him onto the floor. Then he jumped back up again, sans tentacles. I thought, Well, that was freaky, but everything’s normal now.

It wasn’t.

Ginchy monstered again, then un-monstered, then monstered a dozen more times. Meanwhile, I had to visit the bathroom 347 times, and kept forgetting where I was. I was imagining things so vividly that they seemed more real than my surroundings. I couldn’t control the images: they were beautiful, then hideous, joyful, then evil.

Did I sleep? I don’t know, but I climbed out of bed the next afternoon, went into the kitchen and made myself a tuna sandwich. The moment I took a bite, a half-eaten tuna fish wiggled and glared at me from between the slices. I took another bite. Angry tuna time! Then I just sat there, thinking, I’ve gone to Crazyville and I’m never coming back!

I now know that as many as 25% of marijuana users suffer from anxiety. I later tried a few hits of pot at a party. Meh. So I tried a large amount at another rave. Bam—Crazyville! I eventually discovered drunkenness could produce anxiety attacks, as well. It took awhile, but I thank God I’ve found…

An infinitely more dependable source of joy. (Ephesians 5:18)

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Why I Don’t Do Drugs

  1. When I turned 18, I left home and went into the military straight out of high school. I, too, thought that I was going to do everything I was raised believing was wrong (I was raised in a strict religious home). The one thing I was terrified of doing was experimenting with drugs (apart from a couple of puffs of marijuana) because of the stories I’d heard about people who engaged in that lifestyle. I’m thankful I didn’t.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I was paranoid of drugs, so I never touched the stuff, except passing a pipe at a frat party. I had been trying to witness to my date when a bunch of guys came in with some stuff they’d just bought. As we all sat in a circle and they passed the pipe around, I prayed about what to do – preach at them? Walk out? The answer seemed to be “just pray,” so I did.
    After everyone but me had tried it, they gave one another dubious looks, and the leader of the bunch commented, “Well .. its awfully mellow …”
    The rest said “Mellow?! It’s @#$%!” Apparently it had done nothing to them. I, on the other hand felt a bit of a rush as my date looked at me wide-eyed.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. revruss1220 says:

    I also fell under the seductive power of drugs in my college freshman days. Not quite with the dramatic effect you felt, but eventually saw that the promised “expansion” of my mind would ultimately lead to an even bigger contraction. The joy of the Lord, on the other hand, never disappoints! (Neh. 8:10).

    Liked by 4 people

  4. My brain is strange enough without drugs – don’t need to help that process any more.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I am so glad I was rescued by The Dependable Source Of Joy.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. smzang says:

    I can only hope that Ginchy came through the ordeal unharmed .

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pamela says:

    I tried Pot during my 20’s as well. While I didn’t have your experience, I did discover that drugs aren’t for me. I don’t judge those that use them, but when offered, I simply say “no thank you.”

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Mitch! Once again you have managed to wrap profound life lessons around a tale of everyday experiences. I am with you 100% .. and this beautiful bible passage you have quoted. There is no joy more lasting than God’s love. Wishing you a week filled with peace and faith. ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  9. I was lucky. I was born in the 40’s and so missed most of the drug culture times. We did drink but alcohol always made me feel bad. A darn good thing since I have anxiety and would probably be an alcoholic if I could have tolerated it. I also have never liked being out of control of my mind. Something that brings on anxiety for me. Oh well. Sounds like I didn’t miss any fun.

    Liked by 4 people

  10. I tried pot twice. Both times, I felt myself teetering on the edge of crazyville. Having already done ‘crazy’ in my early teens, due to my then-undiagnosed PTSD, I knew I didn’t want to go to crazyville again. So, in a weird way, PTSD saved me!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. K.L. Hale says:

    I did try it. After a motorcycle accident at 36 with severe neck pain and not WANTING surgery, it was advised for help with chronic pain. Of course when I wasn’t in my “right mind” I experienced a heightened sense of paranoia and downright terrors. My “natural” way to manage pain is, and has been for quite some time, my creator of all things natural. Although it’s not always easy to manage pain, he hears my cries and soothes the hurt. I’ve found miraculous ways to manage my own healing~but HE started it. And my faith in him is my ultimate high. 💚

    Liked by 3 people

  12. HAT says:

    So glad you are one of the survivors, Mitch!

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Wow, Mitch. That’s some story. I never really had the opportunity to inhale. I hung out with band kids too, but they were in the marching band.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Eliza says:

    That would be terrifying to live through…was kinda scary to read

    I’m glad you found peace through love…

    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I’ve had my drinking days, but I never did try drugs. I think I heard too many stories like yours! LOL. Didn’t want anything to do with that.

    By the way, this was a kind of out of the norm post topic for a Christian blog. Refreshing. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Matilda S. Novak says:

    It’s been ages since i read a blog. Still LOVE the way you write, my friend…..

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thankful we have the real deal! Thank you, Holy Spirit.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ann Coleman says:

    I tried smoking pot a couple of times, at the insistence of friends who used it regularly, but I never felt anything at all. (Which was very lucky.) I never wanted to try anything stronger, although I did drink a lot of beer in college. It’s funny how we try to many different ways to experience joy and freedom, when the very best answer is right in front of us!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. MK's Quill says:

    Glad that you shared a fragment of your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I discovered early on that I was ALLERGIC to pot. Sick…and a head splitting ache! My dorm neighbors never put towels under their doors, so I would knock on the door, hear them turn on the fan and open the windows and hear the toilet flush several times before they’d answer. I told them I was allergic and could they please PLEASE put a towel under the door? They never did. When I worked in fast food, the guys would pull up to the order board and roll down their windows and billows of smoke would come out. I had to get other folks to take the money and hand out the food. I didn’t get into drinking or anything else mind altering. I was told many times that my mind was altered plenty and I should see about getting it fixed.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Chris Ciccarelli says:

    Reading this made me feel better about myself. At the urging of a trusted friend I took LSD. I truly was never the same & felt I was damaged goods. I’d like to think that my bad judgement not only was forgiven but that the Lord has guided me in my protective nature of my children and choices of friends. I will always feel the legalization of marijuana was bad & just wrong….

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  22. brendans2911 says:

    Well spoken Mitch. Thank you for sharing. With my psychiatric issues I have to take prescription drugs, and where the spiritual attacks come, the scriptures and repentance are key. I’m definitely still under construction, but your post was well written indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Glad your bad trip did no permanent harm.  Blowing grass does help some people (like cancer patients with nausea) feel better, but it’s a bad bet for expanding consciousness.  While some things are good bets for many people, one size does not fit all.

    If listening to something like Bach’s B-minor Mass does not work for someone, here’s something quick and quiet they can try.  Run a thin strip of stiff slick paper between the pad of your thumb and a finger nail.  Pay really close attention to what happens.  No harm done if this does not work for U.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Mazoli IC says:

    Hope you are staying safe during this pandemic.

    Like

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