Always Look Before You…


My daughter Beth had finally reached the stage where she was ready to use the potty-training seat all by herself! (It’s OK, I’ll wait while you applaud.) Squeak, click, went the bathroom door.

A moment later, there was a blood-curdling scream. I turned into Super-Dad and flew to the loo. Shake! Rattle! The door was locked! “What’s wrong, honey?” I yelled, and was answered by a plaintive cry of despair.

Smash, crack, bam! I kicked the door open and tumbled into the formerly peaceful cubicle where Beth stood, whimpering and cradling her finger.

I grabbed her finger and kissed it all over. “Ohhhh, what happened honey?”

With tears in her eyes, she replied,

“I got poo-poo on it.”

Always look before you…well, you know the rest.

~from How to be Funny

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Always Look Before You…

  1. Excellent lesson for all super heroes in training.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. trE says:

    Haha. Yuck! Haha.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. G.R.O.S.S!

    Many decades ago when I was in elementary school, one of my friends told a similar joke. A little girl is in the bathroom, calling out: “Mom, I need some toilet paper. Mom, I need toilet paper. Oh, MOM — Mmmm! Yum yum, chewy chewy Tootsie Rolls last a long time…”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Erika says:

    😂😂There are some experiences we do learn the lesson immediately 😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ewww, but a valuable life lesson.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Got my laugh for the day. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Reminds me of the game my wife and I played when our children were babies called “Poop or Chocolate.” You didn’t want to lose that game.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. mbrazfieldm says:

    You’re the best daddy awwwww lol lol

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This made me laugh so hard! 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Mitch, this is awesome. I think every dad may have had similar experiences. Before Corona, what are a few germs among family?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Too, too funny! Great rescue though, Dad!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ann Coleman says:

    Since I have a toddler grandson, I’m going to remember this story!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. TEP336 says:

    My oldest is now 21. When she was a mere 18 months old, I learned that sitting on the couch, holding a sick baby while not wearing a shirt, is a very bad idea. She sat there quietly, for a time, head on my shoulder. Rather suddenly, she turns her head so she’s facing my opposite shoulder, and proceeds to launch a line of formula vomit across my chest. This then began to run down my chest and stomach. Needless to say, I’m stuck with a crying toddler on my lap, both of us covered in puke, desperately trying not to make my own contribution to the mess, while waiting for my ex to save the day. It was a very educational moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. carhicks says:


    Liked by 1 person

  15. Ahhh…those bathroom emergencies!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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