Inquiring Minds Want to Know

  Some burning questions you may never have thought to ask: (most found anonymously)

How did evolution begin?

Presentation1

Science:

  • If you melted dry ice in a pool, could you swim in it without getting wet?
  • What happens if you turn on your headlights while driving at the speed of light?
  • Would the ocean be deeper if sponges didn’t grow in it?
  • If there’s a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of smell? 
  • Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
  • If a bee was allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
  • Can a pig pull a ham string?
  • If you put a chameleon in front of a mirror, what color does it turn?
  • If someone gets addicted to counseling, how do you treat them?

Arts and Literature:

  • If Cinderella’s glass slipper fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
  • Was Captain Hook called Captain Hand before he got the hook?
  • Why is he called the ‘Lone’ Ranger when Tonto is always with him?
  • Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard (or any body hair, for that matter)?
  • At the ballet, you see girls dancing on their tiptoes. Why don’t they just get taller girls? (Greg Ray)

Language and Culture:

  • Do Dutch people always split the bill?
  • If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, do they garnish his wages?
  • Are mattresses ever not on sale?
  • Why don’t women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
  • What do Greeks say when they don’t understand? (“It’s all _________ to me.”)
  • Whose cruel idea was it to put an ‘s’ in the word “lisp”?
  • If “there’s an exception to every rule,” is there an exception to that rule?
  • Can an ambidextrous person make an offhanded remark?
  • Why do ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing?
  • “When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make you a vacuum cleaner?”
  • If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?
  • Why do people sink so slowly in quicksand?
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
  • Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?
  • What’s the synonym for “thesaurus”?
  • Are female teamsters “teamstresses”?
  • Are male seamstresses “seamsters”?
  • If you steal a clean slate, does that go on your record?
  • If pro and con are opposites, does that make Congress the opposite of progress?

And finally, the biggest question of all:

  • If God sneezes, what do you say to Him?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to Inquiring Minds Want to Know

  1. Eliza Ayres says:

    Reblogged this on Blue Dragon Journal.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the ocean /sponges one 🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I saved your list! I love it! Some questions I never thought about !:))

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If God sneezes, I don’t think any of us will be saying anything!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. These are hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ldtynan says:

    Fat chance/Slim chance

    That’s terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loved this post! If God sneezes and I hear it I will say THANK YOU AND BE BLESSED

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I need to keep this list for when we cross the bridge and pay the toll. Sometimes the people who take our money look so bored, I’d like to have some jokes to tell while I’m driving through. But they need to be short. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Not sure if I stole some of those for my blog or if you’ve been stealing them from me for your blog …

    Liked by 2 people

  10. TEP336 says:

    Channeling your inner Galagher, Mitch? 😂 Hilarious, as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Eliza says:

    I’ve never thought to ask these…
    Bless us!
    Love, light, and glitter

    Liked by 2 people

  12. cat9984 says:

    One answer: Congress is definitely the opposite of progress at the moment

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jennie says:

    These are wonderful, Mitch. The last one…can I say “Bless you” to God? I would like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. As a kid, I really was troubled by the “Lone” Ranger conundrum.  Also puzzled that the LR had some mysterious authority over Tonto.  Also annoyed that many of the other white people depicted in the show had some mysterious animosity toward him.  Yes, I was a weird kid.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. gpavants says:

    Mitch,

    This is proof God gave people brains with a wonderful mix of wit and wisdom. Thanks for all you do.

    In Christ,

    Gary

    Liked by 1 person

  16. If God sneezes, you can say one of three things, (1) “Bless Yourself, O Lord!”; (2) “Gesundheit!” (He speaks German; just ask Martin Luther!); (3) “Wow! Check out that new galaxy!”
    Some great stuff in that list.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: Inquiring Minds Want to Know – Miaovoxdaily

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s