The facts are real (the comments are mine).
I always suspected I was part Panda!
They also build nests and lay eggs.
Which is why I have super-healthy blood.
They were, in fact, invented Chile, long before the potato was introduced to Europe.
Steve’s day job.
Story idea! “Jack and the Beanlungs”! Or not.
So that’s who carried all those stones!
Lots of micronaps! (See note below)
Sad success.
Paid for, no doubt, by our taxes!
“One and Only indeed!
By contrast, very few people travel by donkey (see below)
Also, bananas are terrified of slipping on humans!
Go ahead and try it. I’ll wait.
Except, of course, Dumbo.
Cold outside = Cold inside?
More bizarre, funny or just plain cool facts:
- Before alarm clocks, there were people in the UK called “knocker-uppers.” No, they didn’t get people pregnant, but they did wake them up, and would sometimes use pea-shooters to wake those on higher floors. Brits still use the expression “knocked-up.”
- Toddlers’ adult teeth are beneath their eyes. (Aha! I knew my kids were aliens!)
- Most people have fewer friends than their friends do. This is called the “friendship paradox.” (Wait. How exactly does that work?)
- Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite (so be very careful at ballgames!).
- Chocolate bars contain an average of 8 insect legs (hey, extra protein)!
- Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories per hour (ergo, you can deduct your boss on your taxes as “exercise equipment”).
- People consume about 12 pubic hairs per year from fast food. (Ew! I’ll stick with my ant-leggy chocolate, thanks!)
- Gorillas burp when they are happy. (Hey, I do that. Wait…)
- If you combined all the ants in the world, they would weigh as much as all the humans in the world. (And how exactly did they test this theory?)
- Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. (Is there anything he didn’t invent?)
- Every time you lick a stamp, you consume nearly 6 calories. (Um, I’ll stick with a treadmill, thanks.)
- If a shark flips upside-down, it goes into a coma. (Me too, only I call it “sleep.”)
- Some cats are allergic to humans (except at dinner time).
- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. (And cigarettes were invented before fire, hence for centuries people wondered what cigarettes were for. But then some Neanderthal named Zippo invented the lighter.)
- There’s no word that rhymes with “month.” (Go ahead and check. I’ll wait.)
- Dead people can get goosebumps. (Living people really give them the creeps!)
- Chickens prefer beautiful humans (I always suspected chickens were shallow).
- Heroin was invented by Bayer (yes, the aspirin company) as a “non-addictive” substitute for opium. (Oops.)
- You’re a world record holder! The moment you were born, you were the “youngest person on Earth!”
- According to bajillionaire Elon Musk, we may all be computer simulations. (According to his exes, he is.)
- You cannot die by holding your breath. (Go ahead and try. I’ll wait.)
Your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body (but don’t try lifting weights with it or this will happen ⇒ )- Blinking your eyes is actually a micronap (Oh, hello, awake so soon?)
- There are 4 billion alternatives for each player during the first four moves in chess (or, in my case, 4).
- If you sneeze while your eyes are open, they can pop out. (Go ahead and try, I’ll— No, wait, don’t!)
- Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Can’t everybody? Awkward silence.)
- Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes (which is why you should never book a trip to Europe on a donkey)!
- If a cockroach touches a human, it runs away and cleans itself off (“Ew! Humans are so disgusting!”)
- In Alaska, it’s illegal to look at a moose from a flying vehicle (especially one piloted by a donkey).
Thanks to Samira Mohana for many of the above facts!
Mitch Teemley 
Reblogged this on Blue Dragon Journal.
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So, a lot of us have a few friends, and a few of us have a lot of friends? 🙂
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Yeah, something like that. ;>)
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Guess I’m a bit like a Panda … I fall asleep everywhere.
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These are hilarious and very interesting facts, I like the images too😀
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😂
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You made my evening, Mitch. I knew about the goats and the turtles breathing through their butts…your comments are priceless 😂
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;>)
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Love these facts! Who knows if they are all true???
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Can swear for all of them, but I looked up some of the iffier ones and they checked out.
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Some very interesting facts! I totally get it about being raised in a cold climate – sincerely, a FORMER Iowan hahaha
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Where do you live now, MB?
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Los Angeles 🙂
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Ah, I grew up there. Not sure they’re the friendliest people on earth, but they certainly don’t get a lot of snow. When I lived in SoCal we’d talk about “going to the snow” (local mountains). People in other states would scratch their heads and say, “Funny, here the snow comes to us.”
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I doth declare once
somewhat rhymeth with month
Wait, you want exact rhymes not half rhymes? I’ll wait while you decide.
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Ohhh, close, but no cigar, madam!
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I would have settled for a smiley face.
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If I’d known that beating my head against a wall burns 150 calories per hour, I would have given in to the urge more often.
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I know, right? Plus it feels so good when you stop!
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😀
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You’re supposed to stop?…
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It’s never too late to begin!
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Two thoughts about this:
(1) So, we share 50% of our DNA with bananas? About 49% of my DNA is from Ireland. Are you calling us bananas?
(2) For fact #3936, there have been some recent studies suggesting that exposure to hydrogen sulfide, the chemical that gives flatulence its aroma, reduces the risk of cancer. They also say that hydrogen sulfide is the most prominent compound in Uranus’ atmosphere. I’m sure you can see where that line is heading.
Thanks for sharing this dose of humor!
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(1) How about 50% banana, 49% Gaelic, and 1% peel? (2) Aha! So Uranus WAS named by a high school boy–just as I suspected!
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When I did a DNA test a year or so ago, I joked that my wife should have ordered me a second test. With that one, I would eat a handful of almonds just before providing the sample, so that they could write back, “You’re NUTS!”
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;>)
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I need longer micronaps – I think I am part Panda 😛 😉
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Me too.
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Some of these facts I really, REALLY don’t want to believe.
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Where you find these things, I’ll never know, but I sure enjoy it when you share them!
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You’re killing me smalls. These are hilarious.
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There are more than 60,000 people flying over the united states in airplanes, piloted by humans with 50% banana DNA. Passengers and pilots all holding in farts as best they can, just grateful to escape the ongoing donkey massacre 30,000 feet below. Ps. Thanks…I’ve been looking for a word to rhyme with ‘harrumph’ for at least a month now!
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A chilling picture when you put it altogether, Paul. And very funny. How about “galumph”?
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yes…it seems there are more words that rhyme with ‘month’ than previosuly thought…
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Mind blown! 🤯
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That 8-hour camera thing would definitely cut down on selfies. Haha. Great list!
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Hah, it would indeed. And Instagram too, I suspect.
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Are you SURE donkeys are killing humans? Where would this be? My husband and I often drive through Reche Canyon, CA, home of the wild donkeys, and we have never been attacked. I do know that a lot of people kill even the baby donkeys because they have the nerve to cross in front of the cars. Maybe they need to start providing driver training for donkeys so they can tell the dangerous ones from the ones who love them as I do. We stopped on the side of the road to visit a donkey family one time and the mother and papa brought their little boy and their older daughter right up to us to introduce them. Then they each came to us as well for a pat on the head after which they turned and headed back home. Hopefully I will never run into a killer donkey. I sure have run into a lot of donkey killers!!!
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How sad.
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Oops, I forgot. Thank you for the good break in standard daily thinking. We all need a good laugh from time to time.
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We do indeed.
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Wait — you fly upside down?
Either way, I’m reblogging this to my readers at sister site Poetic Justice. Awesome post, have a great day, bro
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;>) You too, Ana.
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LOL!
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