Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him

schoolkid3rd Grade Notebook “enhanced” by 3rd-Grade-Me

Five years ago, I launched my blog site with this quip: “Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Is this thing on?” I thought is was funny. So did some guy who wrote, “Awesome!” and reblogged it. “Cool!” I thought. “I’m on my way!” He was the first and last person ever to read that post. (In space no one can hear your new blog die.) So the next day I relaunched with a series of posts about how I chose my site name, which was really just a way of introducing myself to my readers–of which I had none. I do have a few now (thank you!). So I’ve decided to re-post those first five blogs.

Picking a Blog Name, Part One

Lavish fanfare. “Thank you, thank you! Please, you’re embarrassing me, really…thank you…no, really…thank you…” The crowd settles. I begin to speak. My voice is full of warmth and humility: “On the auspicious occasion (asion, asion, asion) of my first official blog post (ost, ost), as I look out upon my legions of imaginary fans (ans, ans)…”

OK, so you’re wondering how I’ll make an epic multi-part story out of how I picked my blog name when my blog name is simply my, you know, name. Answer: I can make an epic multi-part story out of anything!

My blog name needed to be special. By contrast, naming my children was easy. After all, they hadn’t developed personalities yet. My blog name, on the other hand, had to embody not only my passions and ideas, but a very developed (some would say overly developed) personality. Hence…

Name choice #1: Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him! I figured I’d hit the bulls-eye with this. After all, as a kid I regularly inspired adults to shout, “Don’t laugh, you’ll only encourage him!” and as a result, did a lot of elementary school time-outs for blurting too-good-to-keep-to-myself one-liners. Long before it was labelled ADHD, my type of behavior was called “poor citizenship.” To this day, when I see “Citizenship: ________” on a form, I feel like I should answer, “Needs improvement.”

I had a lengthy run in sketch comedy groups during the 80’s and 90’s (Isaac Air Freight, Mitch & Allen, National Lampoon Players). But I also did not-so-funny things like teaching, filmmaking, and conference speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I love making people laugh–always have, always will. But…

I needed a name that said more. So I reluctantly abandoned Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him! vowing to repurpose it as the title of my first post. Hence, this post.

Which is now over.

To read Part Two, click here.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir, Quips and Quotes, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Don’t Read This, You’ll Only Encourage Him

  1. Eliza says:

    I love the title! Looking forward to your next reblogs… a teacher once thought I was naughty – so she said. Then taught my sister and realised we were both just impulsive, couldn’t sit still etc.

    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Erika Kind says:

    Still happily with you, Mitch! Congratulations on your blogversary!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I called my first blog “Measurable Progress” hoping to be less than 200 pounds by now. That was March 6, 2014. I was 208 pounds then. I’m at 219 now. 5 years of fighting this battle. I have a whopping 84 followers. I wonder why I keep blogging.

    Liked by 2 people

    • mitchteemley says:

      Well, your About pages says it was the “mental, emotional and spiritual” sides you wanted to improve, as well. I’m trusting it has not been a worthless endeavor, Rebecca. You’re still in the game–and I’m glad! Praying.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Marcela says:

    Hahaha this was funny!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. boromax says:

    Wait. You were part of Isaac Air Freight? Omigoodness. I generally pride myself on my memory of the names of group members. I’m kind of a geek when it comes to that sort of thing. I am a bit mortified (is that a thing?) that I did not immediately recognize your name. Alas. Well, you report that it was a mixed blessing. Isn’t everything, pretty much? My wife and I STILL throw out quotes from “Jerusalem Dragnet.” – ‘ya can’t miss it. big fish goin’ around in the sky’ – Blessings for you and your journey, mi hermano.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. revruss1220 says:

    Happy blogo-versary! Looking forward to the next installments.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. smzang says:

    I’m reading, I’m laughing, I’m learning!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. cazehner says:

    You do make me laugh. And I love reading what you write. So be encouraged!! And keep going.

    Liked by 3 people

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  10. Ann Coleman says:

    I liked both of your first posts! The one from the blog that ended, and this one. (And I laughed out loud about wanting to write “needs improvement” under the citizenship category….)

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Kathleen Ellerman says:

    I either smile, laugh and sometimes feel like crying, but when I read your blog, Mitch, I always think.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. lprslr says:

    Perfect reverse psychology! Down the rabbit hole went I!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. fipwmum says:

    Great sense of humour

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. This is a very engaging post ✅

    Liked by 1 person

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