The first film I starred in, apart from home movies, was a cheesy low-budget Rebel Without a Cause knockoff called Eden Cried. And by starred in I mean, of course, that I was an extra. I’d just gotten out of 8th grade, but looked older (see photo below), so I was cast as various teens and 20-somethings. This was it! After my stage debut the previous year, I was hooked on applause. If I could just get a close-up I’d be a star by Christmas!
We were filming at a SoCal beach when the director said, “I need a close-up of a couple making out.” I lurched forward and smiled rakishly. Amazingly, he pointed at me and a voluptuous teeny-bikinied blonde and said, “Those two.” We were hurried into position on a beach blanket and told to “get passionate.” I was excited. And a little freaked-out. So I whispered in the blonde’s ear, “This is my first time, actually.” “Doing a close-up?” she asked. “No, kissing,” I replied.
She jerked away as if suddenly realizing I was made out of jellied eels. “Wait. How old are you?”
I whispered the answer as cavalierly as I could.
“Ew!” she shrieked as she jumped to her feet. “I’m 25!”
“So what?” the director shouted, annoyed at the interruption.
“He’s 13!” she screamed.
“No, no!” I snorted dismissively. “I turned 14 last week!”
Installation of my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was immediately delayed.
A year later, after I’d become a sophisticated grown-up, I gave the shortcut to fame another try by I auditioning for The Dating Game. To my delight, I received a call the next day! Because I could do “funny voices,” they said I’d be perfect for an episode with three eligible bachelorettes who didn’t realize I was someone they’d gone out with before!
“I like it!” I said, delighting them with my much-sought-after approval.
“Great!” they replied. “Get back to us with the names and numbers of a dozen women you’ve dated.”
“Oh, uh…” I fumbled.
“What?”
“Well, I… I’ve never actually been on a date.”
Dramatic pause.
“Wait. How old are you?” There it was again, that Walk of Fame-cancelling question.
“Uh…15, but almost 16, and I really feel I’m ready to start dating!”
Once again, installation of my star was delayed.
Mitch Teemley 
Thanks for sharing that Mitch, you made me smile! Blessings.
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You too, Bruce.
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Priceless, Mitch!
One advantage of being our age is that there’s an almost unlimited supply of stories … as long as we can remember …
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Ah, that’s the rub. ;>)
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Clearly a case of ageism …
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Clearly!
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Great photo! Somebody should have cast you in a Western. You could have played John Wayne’s son! 😊 God bless!
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Well, I don’t know, pilgrim.
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lol 🙂
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This is hysterical! I can’t believe you would be so honest in those situations! Although I was short in stature, I was always considered older than my years. (I was shaving in Jr. High) So, I never let on that I wasn’t what I was perceived to be. I had a mixed science class in HS where I was one of two sophomores, it was a startling surprise for several of the senior girls to discover that I wasn’t one of their “peers.” Yes, I always asked upper class(women) out! Once when I was still under 21, I went to dinner with a lady in her early twenties. When they asked her ID for wine, she got very agitated with the server, who NEVER asked me for mine! I learned early to dine at better restaurants with bars rather than clubs. I was never carded, ever. Know your location, know who you are!Be blessed and keep up the stories.When are you two going to vacation in FL? We look forward to seeing you here sometime.
Joe
4480 Powderhorn Place Clermont, Florida 34711
mobile: 909.241.6088
SDG Soli Deo Gloria “To God Alone the Glory”
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Thanks, Joe! ;>) When was in my teens I would order a Cherry Alexander at restaurant in Westwood, very sophisticated (basically a spiked milkshake), and never got carded.
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he’s 11
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Who is, Rudy?
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your post quote
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The person in my post is me, and I wasn’t 11, I was 14.
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But you do get a gold star… for effort
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As the kids in the 60s said, “Big whoop.” ;>)
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Great story! (Did you get my email?)
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No, I don’t see it in my inbox.
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Check out that photo! Look how angelic you could pretend to be! Seriously, another great story for your collection of adventures. You surely have enough for a book, and should put the possibility on your list of potential projects.
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Oh, it’s on the list. I do enjoy memoiring. Missed you at the meeting, Nancy. Hope you had a great time.
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Thanks for the laugh!
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I can’t stop smiling … at 13/14 that could have easily turned into a scar(y) story 🙂 Seems like Someone kept your heart for a greater purpose down the road!
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Apparently so, Heidi.
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It was your intimate relationship with God that brought me to this site, but I gotta tell you,
(and I don’t think God will mind at all, since he gave you the gift) your flair for humor
is absolutely super. This recounting of your walk to stardom is pure treasure!
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Aw, thanks, Sarah!
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PLEASE write a book. Seriously.
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Assuming you mean a memoir, Linda, I’m definitely thinking about it. Thank you for the encouragement!
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Yes, please write a memoir. Your real life stories are so interesting, and your writing voice is compelling. The world needs your memoir! 😊
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Aw, thanks.
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Had a good giggle. Thank you for sharing 🙂
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I woke up to reading this and it made me smile. Thank you
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Love it!
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Haven’t had a date? Hmmm I think I remember you going to Texas to visit Kathy’s cousin and you were dating Kelly at the time.
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That was a year later, as I recall, Ro.
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I loved the photo! And enjoyed the post…. I wonder what would have happened if you’d lied about your age?
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Awkward kissing, to say the least. And all for a blip of a movie. But it was a fun experience.
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Hilarious! [goofy grin now adorning my face]
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Your life experiences are continually amazing. And funny.
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Thanks, Pam!
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Writing your memoirs is an excellent idea. I used to have the opposite problem – looking much younger than my years. I was always having to produce I.D, or getting disbelieving glances. (Now I wouldn’t mind having that particular problem, I don’t!)
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;>)
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Gotta admire your lack of fear! 😁
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Excellent narrative prose.
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Thank you, Roger.
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That was quite an entertaining read, Mitch!
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Thank you!
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