It’s the 34th anniversary of my marriage. Does that make this a bad time to tell the woman that I married I’m in love with someone else?
An ex-friend once introduced his wife to the woman he was leaving her for. While his wife was in the hospital. With their newborn child. On Christmas Eve. Sheesh. The shmendrik should have written for General Hospital! Or better yet, been hit by a bus.
But I really love her.
Let me explain. Over thirty years ago, I met a smart, beautiful girl with English pottery skin, chestnut hair, and unfathomable green eyes. I was crazy about her. In due time we became not just lovers, but best friends. Yes, I know it’s a cliché, but it was true; no one had ever known me the way she did. And so we got married, had kids, the whole bit.
But that was then, this is now. I was a different man then, and the girl I married suited me, loved me and cared for me with all her heart. (I’m sounding like a bigger and bigger jerk by the moment, aren’t I?) But in time I matured and came to need someone who understood the person I’d become.
Would it surprise you to learn that the girl I’ve fallen for is not a young hottie? (Hey, I could get that if I wanted it!) To the contrary, she’s an older woman who’s experienced the right-handed shattering of dreams, the left-handed appearance of joys, and so many of the things I’ve been through. She understands me in ways the woman I married never could. And I understand her more, too. Our love is deeper, more all-encompassing. Far from disliking the delicate lines around her eyes, I never tire of caressing them. And although her hair is a lovely mahogany, if left to its own devices it would be tinged with silver. And I would love that too. (There is one thing she shares with the woman I married: those unfathomable green eyes.)
Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that my wife has also fallen in love with someone else? It’s an older man with white hair and a hint of wattling about his neck.
By now you may have ferreted out my National Enquirer-ish ruse: the girl I married and the older woman I’ve just described are the same person. And yet they’re not. Which, of course, is my point.
I once saw Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, on The Tonight Show and was influenced for a time by her views. She was busily laying the groundwork for the 70s by, among other things, declaring that marriage to the same person one’s whole life was inherently joyless, and that people should marry at least three times, like she did. She apparently never figured out that no one stays married to the same person their whole life.
I wake up next to a different woman every day (print that, National Enquirer)! And she wakes up next to a different man. Which is part of what I love about being married. And part of what’s so frickin’ challenging about it!
A friend once told me after his first child was born, “Our marriage is OK, but you know it’s not about us anymore; it’s about him (the baby).” It sounded so selfless. Selfless and fatal. I knew that moment that his marriage was doomed (they divorced five years later). Our children have thanked us dozens of times for loving each other. In fact, it’s probably the greatest gift we ever gave them.
So “Happy Anniversary!” to the wonderful woman I’m with, and to all the women she’s been. I love you, Trudy Teemley! But fair warning, darling: any day now I’ll be falling for a new woman, one who’s a little older than you and has…
Unfathomable green eyes.
(Note: This piece is available as a dramatized scene. To download it, click here.)
Mitch Teemley 
Congratulations, and may God bless you with many more years.
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Aw, thanks, Nancy.
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Hi Mitch, Great point. I saw where that was going. It’s so true that we have to grow and change together. The commitment is lasting as the foundation to build for a lifetime, right?
In Christ,
Gary
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Lovely and heartwarming missive of what true love should be; unlike my then husband whom abandoned me after 44 yrs. to be with a woman my age, but one whom had left her husband after only a few yrs of marriage…when a mate leaves the marriage and betrays the other, they destroy the entire family.
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Oh, Jane, I’m so sorry to hear that. Praying for ongoing healing in your entire family.
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Happy anniversary to you both. Very well expressed.
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Thank you!
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This made me smile! Very clever! And so glad it was the same/not the same woman you fell in love with again! 🙂
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Congratulations! May God direct your steps and surround you with happiness and peace ❤
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Thank you. You too!
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i so appreciate reading about the true love you have for your wife! Happy Anniversary!
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Beautifully written! Your story epitomizes what the Greek called “pragma” which is a very rare and precious thing. Love has been called “one of the most studied and least understood areas in psychology.”There are 8 types of love according to the greeks. Falling in or out of love is one of the strongest emotions that people can experience. Love can be kind. Love can be cruel. Love is everything. Everyone has experienced feelings of love to some extent or another. There are those who found love then lost it, those who found it and kept it and those who are seeking it in odd places. There are also those who don’t know they have it, not realizing it is closer than they think. This is the first paragraph of the article on my website titled “8 flavours of love – Which one are you? abouthttps://authorjoannereed.net/lets-talk-about-love-8-flavors-of-love/ – Check it out
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I’ll check it out. Thanks, Joanne!
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Great article, Mitch. I almost gave up after the first paragraph but glad I kept going. One of my favorite kinds of plots is when the action leads you in one direction, only to find out you are completely in another place!
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I’m glad you kept going, too, and pleased to meet you.
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👍
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Happy wedding anniversary to both of u.What u just described reminded me of a tagline of onida tv .neighbours envy.. owners pride😀
The love and romance every human dreams of…u both are very lucky..touch wood.God bless u both.lots of love and good wishes ❤❤❤
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Thank you, Meena. Though, in truth, neither of us considers it luck that keeps our love a!ive, but a shared commitment. It’s work. Joyous work, but hard work, nevertheless.
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And it is the live and commitment u both have towards each other that inspires u to work hard.Nowadays the mantra is when the going gets tough the tough gets going…into someoneelses arms.that is.
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This was so beautiful. Of course, took me for a twist. But the love that is being displayed here is exactly the way God intended it to be between a man and woman. This is a nice example of how love is described at 1 Corinthians 13:7,8 “believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, love never fails”. Thank you for your post ❤️
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So glad it spoke to you, Ethan.
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Very clever! Had me hooked from the beginning. Happy anniversary to you and your wife.
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Thank you!
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Happy wedding anniversary to both of you.
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Thank you, Anshul.
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your welcome
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Happy anniversary 🖤
If you have some time, do read my perception on love. 🖤
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I will!
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A beautifully done tribute. Thank-you for sharing about her.
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My pleasure, truly.
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