Confession: I’m in Love with Another Woman

Presentation1It’s the 34th anniversary of my marriage. Does that make this a bad time to tell the woman that I married I’m in love with someone else?

An ex-friend once introduced his wife to the woman he was leaving her for. While his wife was in the hospital. With their newborn child. On Christmas Eve. Sheesh. The shmendrik should have written for General Hospital! Or better yet, been hit by a bus.

But I really love her.

Let me explain. Over thirty years ago, I met a smart, beautiful girl with English pottery skin, chestnut hair, and unfathomable green eyes. I was crazy about her. In due time we became not just lovers, but best friends. Yes, I know it’s a cliché, but it was true; no one had ever known me the way she did. And so we got married, had kids, the whole bit.

But that was then, this is now. I was a different man then, and the girl I married suited me, loved me and cared for me with all her heart. (I’m sounding like a bigger and bigger jerk by the moment, aren’t I?) But in time I matured and came to need someone who understood the person I’d become.

Would it surprise you to learn that the girl I’ve fallen for is not a young hottie? (Hey, I could get that if I wanted it!) To the contrary, she’s an older woman who’s experienced the right-handed shattering of dreams, the left-handed appearance of joys, and so many of the things I’ve been through. She understands me in ways the woman I married never could. And I understand her more, too. Our love is deeper, more all-encompassing. Far from disliking the delicate lines around her eyes, I never tire of caressing them. And although her hair is a lovely mahogany, if left to its own devices it would be tinged with silver. And I would love that too. (There is one thing she shares with the woman I married: those unfathomable green eyes.)

Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that my wife has also fallen in love with someone else? It’s an older man with white hair and a hint of wattling about his neck.

By now you may have ferreted out my National Enquirer-ish ruse: the girl I married and the older woman I’ve just described are the same person. And yet they’re not. Which, of course, is my point.

I once saw Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, on The Tonight Show and was influenced for a time by her views. She was busily laying the groundwork for the 70s by, among other things, declaring that marriage to the same person one’s whole life was inherently joyless, and that people should marry at least three times, like she did. She apparently never figured out that no one stays married to the same person their whole life.

I wake up next to a different woman every day (print that, National Enquirer)! And she wakes up next to a different man. Which is part of what I love about being married. And part of what’s so frickin’ challenging about it!

A friend once told me after his first child was born, “Our marriage is OK, but you know it’s not about us anymore; it’s about him (the baby).” It sounded so selfless. Selfless and fatal. I knew that moment that his marriage was doomed (they divorced five years later). Our children have thanked us dozens of times for loving each other. In fact, it’s probably the greatest gift we ever gave them.

olhos+verdesSo “Happy Anniversary!” to the wonderful woman I’m with, and to all the women she’s been. I love you, Trudy Teemley! But fair warning, darling: any day now I’ll be falling for a new woman, one who’s a little older than you and has…

Unfathomable green eyes.

(Note: This piece is available as a dramatized scene. To download it, click here.)

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

121 Responses to Confession: I’m in Love with Another Woman

  1. 🙌🙌🙌 💐Awesome! Happy Anniversary!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. CLEvangelism says:

    Happy anniversary! And I’m super glad that guy’s an ex-friend.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Super cute post. Happy anniversary 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Gary Fultz says:

    To pass this this on to the next generation (sigh..any generation) is priceless. Thanks for your depth of thought and communicating this truth. Happy Anniversary Mitch!
    41 years here and yes, the scenery and currents of life sure do change around the river bends of marriage and Life through the years.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. cindy knoke says:

    Happy Anniversary & congratulations too!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Adorable and sweet. Congrats.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. This is beautiful, a heartfelt letter to your muse. Happy anniversary, lots of warm wishes.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Love, love, love this Mitch!

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Happy Anniversary to you both!

    Liked by 4 people

  10. So sweet, Mitch! I love this. You’re going to make me cry. 🙂

    Someone once quipped, “it’s good to be married to someone with multiple personalities because you never know who you’re going to get to have an affair with.” Made me laugh.

    Liked by 5 people

  11. 'Kanmi says:

    Wow! This is beautiful and inspiring. As a young man who’s looking forward to a beautiful home; I will take a cue from this. Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!

    Liked by 7 people

  12. Ted Goodwin says:

    Yes, after 18 years my wife and I are totally different people…Thank God!
    Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 6 people

  13. Well done! When I saw the headline, I thought, Uh oh. I’m not sure I want to read this. But it was so well done, I couldn’t not read it! A lovely tribute to your wife – and Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 6 people

  14. Happy anniversary, Mitch. I understood the headline of the post because we just had our anniversary less than a month ago and we shared the same sentiment.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. themeonnblog says:

    Happy Anniversary!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Paula Light says:

    Happy Anniversary! ❤️🎉🎶

    Liked by 4 people

  17. pkadams says:

    Happy Anniversary! So true!

    Liked by 4 people

  18. joyroses13 says:

    What a tender, sweet tribute! Happy Anniversary!!!

    Liked by 5 people

  19. Very sweet stuff! Happy Anniversary! 🙂 We all need to metamorphize now and then.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Maryanne says:

    I guessed it was the same woman when I read that she had also fallen in love with someone else. I’m only going on 14 years with my husband (and we fell in love later in life) and it’s true, you do grow into different people; an older better version of yourself (if you work at it and are honest to realize what you need to do to be a better person). The Love Club is a beautiful one to belong to, not everyone gets in! CHEERS & HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

    Liked by 4 people

  21. tracykard says:

    Fantastic perspective — one that will likely lead to a lifetime’s worth of happy anniversaries! Congrats!

    Liked by 6 people

  22. Very sweet–happy anniversary!

    Liked by 4 people

  23. You are an amazing person. Learnt Something new today. Bared your hearts true feelings and yet the Anniversary ended Happily. Art of smooth talking, one should practise.

    Liked by 4 people

  24. carhicks says:

    Happy Anniversary, Wishing you many more wonderful years to come.

    Liked by 3 people

  25. alsavignano says:

    A successful marriage is like serial monogamy. You express some great sentiments in this blog.

    Liked by 4 people

  26. Hue Le says:

    Haha what a lovely post! And Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 3 people

  27. cricketmuse says:

    Great reflection piece on how marriage is dynamic, not static.

    Liked by 4 people

  28. suryapoojary says:

    beautifully written,sir.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. A priest once said at a wedding reception that couples are often toasted with “May you always be as in love as you are today”, but he always prayed that they grow in love as life goes on. I needed to hear another say that love is a choice, and that as you grow and change, you need to be mindful of your spouse’s growth and changes. Another added that if two people keep their eyes on
    God, [/\], they will be drawn closer together; it seems to me that you two have that down!
    I have not been stopping to comment, but I enjoy your posts very much.
    Happy Anniversary, And prayers for more happy years!

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Great perspective on the joys of growing together through life together in marriage.
    I have advised some young men to remember that, when they get married, they’re not only marrying that hottie in a white gown standing next to them at the altar. They’re marrying the old lady she will become someday. Make sure she’s someone you’re likely to fall in love with.
    And, happy anniversary!

    Liked by 5 people

  31. I love this, Mitch! ❤️Happiest Anniversary!

    Liked by 3 people

  32. Ann Coleman says:

    Very wise words, Mitch! And you’re right, the fact that both partners in a marriage are constantly growing and changing is both the greatest joy and the greatest challenge in the relationship. As for your friend, who said it’s all about the children, I’m not surprised they got divorced. When my daughter had her beautiful baby boy, I told her he was going to demand a great deal of her time and attention, and that’s as it should be. But I also told her to stay focused on her marriage, because it’s so easy to focus so much on the children that when they grow up and move out, the parents are looking at each other and thinking, “Who IS that person?” Which is why, I believe, a lot of couples that age split up. So I happily babysit for them when they want a date night!

    Liked by 5 people

  33. So very true and our 56 year marriage is proof of it!

    Liked by 3 people

  34. Delightful read and I enjoy happy endings. Or is that ever blossoming new beginnings in your case ?

    Liked by 3 people

  35. Happy Anniversary to U both!  And a cheerful wave to Heraclitus!

    Liked by 3 people

  36. laronda65 says:

    Profound and precious! Congratulations!

    Liked by 3 people

  37. Much needed perspective. I’m going to read it to my wife. Happy anniversary!

    Liked by 3 people

  38. gregoryjoel says:

    Happy Anniversary to you all! I can’t think of a better way to start my day than the reminder you shared. I get to wake up with a different beautiful woman everyday, too! We are truly blessed!

    Liked by 3 people

  39. Mary Sweeney says:

    I love this, Mitch! So much truth in this.
    Happy Anniversary !!!

    Liked by 3 people

  40. Happy anniversary!!! Wonderful story!

    Liked by 3 people

  41. fipwmum says:

    Happy anniversary hope you had a good day

    Liked by 3 people

  42. aliagunda says:

    “But fair warning, darling: any day now I’ll be falling for a new woman, one who’s a little older than you and has…” this made me cry honestly. I hope I’ll find a love as pure as this one day when I’m ready for it. And I hope God blesses is just as he had blessed yours. Happy anniversary to you guys. You’re my inspiration. ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  43. smzang says:

    and many, many more!!

    Liked by 3 people

  44. Precious post. Congratulations!

    Liked by 3 people

  45. Discover and Explore says:

    Good one!

    Liked by 3 people

  46. Discover and Explore says:

    Isn’t being married to two people at once Illegal? 😀

    Liked by 2 people

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