Martin Luther famously said, “Sin boldly, but believe more boldly still!” In other words, if you’re going to do something, don’t do it by halves!
While editing my novel, I became aware that I’d overused the phrase “as if” and it’s near-twin “as though.” Sure enough, when I hit the Find command, I discovered I’d used them a combined 119 times! I was determined to eliminate the majority of instances, and succeeded in reducing them to a modest 21 (not too bad for a 75,000 word book). An effective exercise in redundancy reduction, yes. But it led me to discover something even more important:
I was a literary wuss!
You see, I was afraid to be caught exaggerating or—heaven forbid—outright lying! After all, as ifs indicate situations that are uncertain, conditional, or untrue, so grammatically speaking they’re correct.
But they’re also wussy.
More often than not, as if clauses lack boldness. They’re like the guy who carries a lot of insurance and never takes any risks (“Paintball can lead to eye injuries, you know!”). Prudent, yes, interesting, no.
The solution? Sin boldly! Exaggerate. Or even downright lie! And anyway, you’re a writer, so it’s not lying, it’s hyperbole (eat that, wussy-me)! Hyperbole, when it’s executed correctly, isn’t about how things are, it’s about how they seem to be, how they might be, or how they feel.
“It felt as if the whole city was crashing down on top of her,” is OK. But “The whole city was crashing down on top of her!” is stronger, more direct, because it emphasizes how she feels.
“It seemed as though he’d been here before” is a straightforward déjà vu statement. It’s also lazy (I often catch myself lazy-writing). Remember Storytelling 101: “Show, don’t tell.” So how about, “The jaundiced stucco and cracked half-timber walls uncapped something rotting in the back of his mind”? It reveals more than mere information, it reveals character, and hints at a provocative backstory.
In a broader sense, we’re talking about similes vs. metaphors here. And dramatically speaking, metaphors are nearly always stronger than similes. “She felt like a broken doll” is OK, but “She was a broken doll” is more visual, more poignant. So sin boldly, and your readers will…
“Believe more boldly still!”
Mitch Teemley 
I find myself doing the same, and then remember: be committed to your writing. Good post.
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It seems as if what you say is true … um, I mean …
In proofreading my last book, “BARRIERS (So, if prayers are so powerful, how come mine don’t get answered?),” I realized I had overused exclamation points, and I shared on Facebook that I’d had to eliminate at least half of them. One of my friends was disappointed. She said, “But I love your enthusiasm!” (Well, enthusiasm is one thing, talking like a 13-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert is quite another.)
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;>)
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Ah, yes, a bold reminder to all of us writers! You know that I’m now going to have to comb through all my blogs to see just how much of a wuss I am. And seekingdivineperspeactive is reminding me of my penchant for exclamation points. Enthusiasm and all. Okay, here I go.
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Awesome, Mitch! 🙂
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i’ll use that to combine 131 times
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?
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Ok, I’m headed back to polish and wax, better armed and more sure!
Thank you!
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Great post! I related. When I wrote my book I was not familiar with the “search” function of Word. Then I discovered it, and was horrified how I was overusing certain phrases or words. Some were easy enough to find different words.
Related to your “as if” one of my editing friends pointed out I was saying “perhaps” too much – for the same reasons as you – afraid of making too strong of a statement. While I kept a handful, I got rid of many of the perhaps! It strengthened my writing.
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Yep, “perhaps” and a bunch of other wussy qualifiers are on my current hit list, too!
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Guilty! I overuse the word ‘sometimes’, as a qualifier, to let people KNOW, hello, that I realize it is not 100% true, all of the time. 😀
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Yeah, I’ve noticed that when I write, I hedge my bets. Sometimes.
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I see what you did there.
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Great share❤
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Thanks, Luisa.
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🌾🌷🌾
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As if Luther knew what he was talking about :-b
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Great advice. During my first and second drafts I tend to overuse contrast clauses. You know the ones – but, on the other hand, then again. My favorite hiccup lately is “so.” It’s okay. They’ll be gone by the third or fourth edit. Yes. it’s time to be bold.
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The best tip I have in writing is to read what you’ve written out loud. You’ll catch redundancies easier and it makes for an easier read.
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Indeed. I do it often with my blog posts, but haven’t tried it with my long form writing.
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This is good. It’s useful, it’s presented in non-lecturing way. Save it for later, combine with others and maybe do a short book for aspiring writers. BTW, it’s not “sinning,” it’s “poetic license,” which is okay in front of God and everybody. 😉
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You are that tallest tree in the forest, Mitch, in wisdom and heart.
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Aw, you’re too kind, Vera.
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I am a Lutheran and Marty said a lot of things that didn’t always make sense. In this case, doing something half heartedly is good advice, especially when writing fiction. We owe it to our audience to give them more than they bargained for.
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Way to write with power! Thanks, Mitch! God bless!
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Are you also a Peter Elbow fan?
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Great post. You’ve motivated me to search my own writing for these words and similar crutches. Thanks!
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Love the advice to be bolder. I’m going to check that as I revise. Thank you!
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My pleasure. And good to meet you, Steve!
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Oh, I find that I’m a slave to the Perfect Progressive tense. It takes real effort, for me at least, to stay in the simple tense. But, isn’t it fun to hone our craft?
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It is!
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Indeed, Jay. But present-progressive is right there on the pallet next to burnt-umber and ultra-marine blue (and the simple tense.) Coincidentally, I was just talking about the “Art” of writing on my how-to blog: https://writersclass.net/2019/10/26/editing-your-writing/ The final comment gives a plug for the progressive. 😉
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What say you?
https://cstheologian.home.blog/2020/01/16/has-god-revealed-your-sin/
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I say, “I like it, and I look forward to reading more of your posts, Bill.”
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