My Fellow Americans…

Presentation1

I am officially announcing my candidacy for NTP (Not-the-President) of the United States of America. After much deliberation, I have decided that this is how I may best serve my country.

Careful analysis has revealed that, at the current rate, by this time next year every person in the United States will be a presidential candidate.

Therefore, since I will be the default NTP, this will put me in the unique position of casting the deciding vote for President. Since each candidate will presumably vote for themselves, the person I vote for will receive exactly twice as many ballots as anyone else (two!), resulting in a landslide of historic proportions!

This has not been an easy decision for me. I am profoundly aware of the strains of the non-office of NTP (Not-the-President), and I therefore pledge to you, my fellow Americans, to soberly and resolutely carry out my non-duties in this crucial non-role.

Thank you, and may God bless America (God knows we need it),

Mitch Teemley

Sole Candidate for NTPOTUS,

Not-the-President of the United Sates

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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25 Responses to My Fellow Americans…

  1. Love the giggle this post gives me!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Finally, someone! lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. oneta hayes says:

    I can’t oppose your stand. Reasonable but since I have already announced my candidacy on WordPress, I am obligated to win and fulfill my presidential duties. I’m sure you have already decided to vote for me. I believe you notified me assuring me of your vote. So based on that plurality of votes, I am asking you to become my Vice President.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hilarious. But I hate to tell you I am running for NTP as well. It’s been a tradition of mine.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Mitch. I have recently decided to give my favorite bloggers one of my poems if they happen to hit a poetic nerve :). Here you go.

    The President Did Not Invite Me to the White House

    The president did not invite me to the White House
    because this poem is not good enough
    to raise my stature that high. I am claustrophobic
    among the millions of my mates in the workaday
    world where my best is a mediocre mark
    on a wall worn down by repeated assaults
    of angry graffiti and the rumble and exhaust
    of incessant traffic.

    When I am at my wisest, I know my place
    in the wonder and order of things. But I seem
    to want proof. I seem to want more.
    The one-line best sellers
    I have written in my mind
    number in the thousands.
    The insights I have articulated
    literally save the world
    in my fantasies. Inside, behind
    and through my own synaptic jungle,
    over and over again,
    I am amazing.

    Well.

    No one has discovered me. That sucks.
    But the sky has opened up to let us know
    about the planets where God may be
    having a better time. At least this
    offers a bit of relief.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. SarahC says:

    okay so since i will Non- vote, may you Non -enjoy your lovely role πŸ˜› (Just kidding) good one by the way Mitch!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. simplywendi says:

    πŸ™‚ thank you for the laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Well, Mitch, if you were to run for President, I would vote for you. For real

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Still giggling…thanks, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Just what we need a non-president. It will add much to the non-congresspersons(?) and non-senatepersons we have now. They did run and see where it got us???

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I was going to announce that was running for president, but in my FB announcement I had a little typo and instead said that I was “running at the president.”

    Now the Secret Service is following me everywhere.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. In that case, you can cast a write-in vote for me. That will make two of us and I will win.
    Too bad the Electoral College doesn’t work like that.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I will cast my non-vote for you! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. From the safe distance of the Antipodes,
    it would seem, Mitch, you’re the only one
    not in the race to replace the No Collusion One😎

    Liked by 1 person

  15. You are so on target with this post. I can’t wait till tomorrow and find out who else is running for president.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You have my vote, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

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