Attack of the Mole People!

            Recent photo of our backyard:Presentation1

Help! We’re under attack by a mole! I’ve named him “Manny” (because there may actually be many of them). At first he would leave a lump here, a lump there. I’d smile and stomp it down. Cute. No big. But now he’s turning molehills into mountains–about a dozen a week; the squirrels have become quite adept at using pitons and rappelling line.

I waited far too long to deal with this, and now I’m pretty sure he’s the size of a Dodge van. Also, he may have hired foreign mercenaries, so I don’t want a direct confrontation with him. There are so many tunnels around our house that our basement has begun to flood seasonally. I’ve renamed it de Nile, because for too long I’ve been in denial of this problem!

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Mitchellaneous and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Attack of the Mole People!

  1. trE says:

    You better get on it, Mitch. Sounds like quite the issue now. *shrugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. or you could just go with it and turn your backyard BMX bike racing course. Maybe you could charge admission and sell sports drinks and pizza for a little extra money.

    If the mole finds out you’re making money off their efforts they might stop digging to sue you for a share of the profits.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. anitashope says:

    Dude, I am with you. So done with the moles. You don’t have these much in the south – too much red clay.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. lol! I know the situation isn’t funny, but your description is! 🙂 I wish you luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Until I moved to Indiana I had no idea how many or how big moles were up here. Down home in south Alabama, it was a rare thing to even see one. Good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. JOY journal says:

    This time, it’s personal.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. We have at least a dozen in our yard.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Are you sure Manny is not some giant nutria living in your area? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My husband feels your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. smzang says:

    I am ‘LOL’ and it feels like the world just lifted off my shoulders. So very much enjoyed. btw Our pastor from time to time mentions infuences and enjoyments
    in his Sunday messages. CS Lewis is a favorite, and another is Isaac Air Freight.
    I asked his wife about it afterwards and she told me he still has a collection of
    IAF tapes. I considered him a brilliant Christian the first time I heard him speak,
    and now I have learned he has impeccable taste too. Good luck with the mole, but
    keep him mind, Be kind to our tunneling friends, because a mole may be somebody’s
    mother. I’m ducking.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. We had mole problems a couple of years ago, Mitch. Made a slurry of really stinky rotting onions, shallots, and garlic and poured it into the main tunnel holes. The moles all packed up and moved across the street to our neighbors’ yard. We didn’t see any molehills for at least 6 months. Coincidence? Maybe . . . but maybe not.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. diannmeynor says:

    OHHHH that was funny!! ((we used to put a BIG scoop of smelly dog poop in their holes….sent them packing to the neighbors location…..))

    Liked by 1 person

  13. gpavants says:

    Hi Mitch,

    Nice allegory, or analogy?


    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ann Coleman says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry! My mom had a mole problem a few years ago, and it was so hard to deal with. I even tried bribing them to move into the neighbor’s yard, but they weren’t interested….

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 🤣 I actually laughed out loud over the “manny” jome

    Liked by 1 person

  16. cat9984 says:

    “The Wind in the Willows” gave moles a much more benign presence than they really have. My husband got one a few years ago. It was huge.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s