The Holidays are Upon Us!


“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” ~Dave Barry

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”  ~Steven Wright

“Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ I said, ‘Ma, I’m not Jewish.'” ~Joy Behar

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” ~Oscar Wilde

“The three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.”  ~Rick Sutter

“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?”  ~G. K. Chesterton

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Holidays are Upon Us!

  1. One of my favorite Chesterton quotes!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I’m really enjoying this year with my youngest son being Santa for his baby girl who is too young to have even a tiny clue of what’s going on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have captured the Spirit of Christmas. I would like to say one is a favorite, however, every one of them has their shine. I like them all. Thanks, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jennie says:

    Terrific, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

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