They Just Don’t Make Monsters the Way They Used To

Halloween - lazy zombie

When I was a kid, Halloween was a big deal. I loved monsters, and regularly built monster models: The Mummy (with real cloth!), Frankenstein’s monster, King Kong (with real fake fur), the Invisible Man (an empty stand with footprints). I loved being scared!

Later, as a middle schooler, I switched to doing the scaring. I’d dress as a ghoul and jump down from the garage rafters with a hideous (“kideous?”) cackle–and candy, of course; a proper scream deserves a reward. Sometimes things backfired. But I still loved it.

As an adult, I’ve rather lost the joie de horreur. I’ve never really found a place in my heart for axe murderers. Give me a good ol’ “What’s that? Oh, it’s nothing. Wait–yes, it is!” movie any day. But a guy with a chainsaw? Not so much. Reminds me of that dead tree I need to remove from my back yard. So, I guess I’ll spend another year handing out candy, dressed as a disarmingly handsome older(ish) gentleman with a beautiful wife, and then watch season two of Stranger Things. Again. Besides,

Who wants to do all that walking?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir, Popular Culture & Entertainment and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to They Just Don’t Make Monsters the Way They Used To

  1. oh, but leather face and his family are the true embodiment of horror πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree. The films you just mentioned are superb in their own ways. But, it may astonish you that not once in TCM did the chainsaw actually pierce the flesh… (Im talking about the original here)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nancyehead says:

    That’s hilarious, Mitch. Happy Halloween and God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. notdonner says:

    My two favorite childhood memories of Halloween were dressing up as a cyclops caveman in second or third grade. My mom sewed a fake fur rug into a caveman costume aka Fred Flintstone. Had a big plastic club too! And a few years later dressed as the Tin Woodsman from Oz. Cardboard boxes painted silver, silver makeup – it scared my dog to death. Then he was totally confused by my voice coming out of this scary figure! These days, I just enjoy the young coworkers going all out in their offices for the Employee Family Halloween

    Liked by 1 person

  5. inesephoto says:

    I too prefer watching Stranger Things πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like the older suspense type horror movies. I’ve become numb to jump-scares and gore.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. toutparmoi says:

    I was never into monsters. I like ghosts, of the Something-Not-Quite-Right-Here variety.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Roos Ruse says:

    Brilliant as always, Mitch. “joie de horreur”. Bwahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Been there done that. Great post with all the things that used to be. Nowadays we just look at the day as another day. Sometimes I hope nobody comes by. That jump from the garage is a litle dangerous now.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. K McVere LLC says:

    Thank you. I needed to laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

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