5 Year Old Exposes Truth About Barney!

Cute-newborn-baby-girls-clothesMy daughter Mandy was born smart. If she’d known English the day she was born, I’m sure she’d have explained to the obstetrician that he was doing it all wrong.

By the time she was two that oversight had been corrected. At a supermarket she asked, “Daddy, may I please have a cherry popsicle?”

A harried looking shopper observed, gobsmacked, “That toddler just used a complete sentence!”

“Of course,” I said, “she knows a proper sentence needs a subject, object, and a verb.”

Duh.

Then Mandy asked the lady if she would like a hug.  Because, you see, my daughter wasn’t just smart, she was also deeply perceptive.

latestSo it came as no surprise that one day, at age five, while she was dancing along with TV philosopher Barney the Dinosaur, she had a profound epiphany. She’d been singing an insipid self-esteem ditty with him that went,

“I’m special!  You’re special!  Everybody’s special!”

when she suddenly stopped mid-kick-ball-change and asked, “Daddy?”

“Yes, darling?”

“If everybody’s special, doesn’t that mean ‘special’ is just ordinary?”

She still loved the gentle purple dunder-lizard, but was dubious about his wisdom after that. (Personally, I suspect it takes more than a little fermented grape juice to remain that color day in and day out.)

chucke-cheese-large1One year later, we celebrated Mandy’s sixth birthday at Chuck E. Cheese’s. She’d just finished giving the big cheese a compassionate hug when she took me aside and announced, “He’s not real.”

“He’s not?”

“No, there’s someone inside.”

“Really?  Who?”

“Barney.”

The gig was up. She’d figured out that, lacking any real depth as a sage, Barney had plummeted in the ratings and been forced to moonlight as a pizza-pushing rat.

That was when I knew my own days as a mentor were numbered.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Memoir, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to 5 Year Old Exposes Truth About Barney!

  1. atimetoshare.me says:

    Such grand perception ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. HAT says:

    Indeed. This is what comes of imprecision in language. Everyone is unique. People can almost always find a good reason to be happy about that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Twinkletoes says:

    Personally, I think most kids are smarter than they get credit for. They just don’t want to embarrass us, so they play along. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so glad she explained Chuck E. – I’ve wonder about him for years.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol…Smart youn-un you got there…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. nancyehead says:

    Out of the mouths of babes–comes such great stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. smzang says:

    This proves to me that girls mature faster than boys.
    My son’s 9th birthday party was at Chuck E. Cheese’s…
    a 3 year differential in development.

    I’m betting that your days as mentor of Mandy will never end!
    Sounds like you’ve done well.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. tiostib says:

    Delightful story!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Such a perceptive child as Mandy develops in a nurturing environment; nature is rarely enough. Kudos, Mitch and Trudy!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. carhicks says:

    I love it. My grandson is like that as well, Sometimes I worry that he is too wise. She sounds adorable though. How old is this smart cookie now?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So often kids provide us adults with insight we don’t see. I am glad Mandy could finally explain the truth about Barney and Chuck E.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. That’s one bright little lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. We reap what we sow. A parent’s joy is when they discover that their child is a real person. At that point mentoring becomes crucial. Another great offering by Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. revruss1220 says:

    Great story. She is a sharp one, indeed. I would never have made that connection. Please thank her for opening my eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. So laughing! Poor Barney got de-moted! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sounds like something my youngest daughter would have said. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  17. celia says:

    Brilliant! (Mandy, that is!)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Too funny. If everyone is special, it’s just ordinary! My youngest has downs syndrome. My 5 year old and I used to discuss disabilities a lot, until he explained to me that everyone has their own disabilities…and brother having downs is not so different after all. Gotta love kids. Life would be grand if they ran the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. pkadams says:

    I LOVE funny kids! My youngest and very quiet son is quite witty and my oldest who talks too much is just plain funny. He was also talking in complete sentences and using long words as a toddler. I think I gave him too much attention by reading books to him all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. She must be a great observer to begin with. Even as a kid, she had a great understanding of life. Loved the post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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