Leaf Me Alone!

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“The wind bloweth wherever it pleaseth.” ~John 3:8

Moving from L.A. to Cincinnati introduced me to the overly-romanticized reality of raking leaves. The grand finale of autumn colors is truly lovely. But as Yoda might put it, “Too long on the ground, they are, and too short on the trees!”

Still, necessity is the mother of in(ter)vention, and that’s exactly what my friend Bill did when he intervened, and taught me how to “blow and mow,” i.e. blow the leaves onto the lawn and mulch them up using a lawnmower. “Way easier, this is!” (Yoda) And so it came to pass that I acquired a blower and became a Leafmeister, 1st Class!

One problem: Every year, after I blow and mow my leaves for the “final time,” a late fall wind kicks up and hurls the 8,000,000 remaining leaves on the Mt. Kilimanjaro-sized oak tree in the neighbor’s yard across the street into my yard. (Oak leaves are mower-mockingly flat and tough, by the way.)

And speaking of wind, it’s a fundamental law of nature that, when you are blowing leaves, “An equal or greater amount of wind will arise and blow them in the opposite direction.”

Argghhh!

Where’s my rake?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Leaf Me Alone!

  1. So true… and as I transplanted Californian as well, I feel your pain. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, big winds in the fall can leaf me overwhelmed. Thanks for the mower trick!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha!!! Made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I like. I get all the leaves in my little corner of the world. The wind it seems is a friend of mine and generous with its bounty.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ron Whited says:

    Until I retired last year Mitch, I lived up north all of my life so of course am familiar with all kinds of leaves. My neighbors to the west of me had all kinds of deciduous trees, while all I had were spruce trees. Guess which way the wind always blew from?🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tooty Nolan says:

    I have exactly the same problem with my neighbour’s willows. Tall they are, and leafy. Worse still, when I mow and rake them, I always manage to uncover at least six dog turds.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. @vapor_sage says:

    Hi Mitch
    I do leaf clean up professionally and I mulch then bag You’ll get 3 to 5 times the leaves into the bag after chopping them up, and if you get an Echo backpack blower one can really move some. I really only use the blower to get them away from fences, buildings and out of mulch/flower beds

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes! It’s never-ending! Brilliant idea

    Liked by 1 person

  9. E says:

    Ha! Oh Mitch. Good stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great post! And so true. I spend my life raking up my neighbors’ leaves, which, for inexplicable reasons that defies physics, all end up in my yard.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great post, love that pic!!

    Thanks for popping by to my blog earlier. I followed yours. 🙂

    Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. John S says:

    Mitch, this brought back some fun memories.  At one church I pastor in Lacrosse WA., we had a big tree that I did have to rake up the leaves.  I would bring our step ladder out and all the kids around, including this kid, would have a blast jumping in the leaves.  As Bob Hope would sing THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.  Happy new year Mitch.  By the way do you know why I am sharing that with everyone today? John

    Liked by 1 person

  13. alexankarr1 says:

    Raking mown grass, also a pain in the keister. How can you rake up more than you cut, and then there’s still as much left to do?

    Liked by 1 person

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