Awkward Slogans

I love bad advertising. The two biggest shopping days of the year, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, always bring a plethora of ads, most of them slick and forgettable. But a few, especially those for local establishments, are wonderfully awkward:

  • A Chinese restaurant we frequent proclaims, We promise you “good food,” apparently unaware that the use of quote marks sarcastically implies the opposite.
  • One of our favorite pizza places features the motto: The pizza you can eat! As opposed to doing what else with it, exactly?
  • This morning I received an email promoting Always White Tooth Whiteners with the tagline: A bright smile sends a message: “Look at my teeth–I didn’t eat your jelly.” What?
  • A hair salon in London, England advertises: Tired of being ugly with bad hair?! Just be ugly!! Right, blokes, never miss a chance to insult your clients.
  • On the other hand, a shop I visited in Canterbury, England, featured my favorite all-time window ad. In bold letters it announced: Sex aids for ferrets! Then, in small print below, forcing one to come near (to what turned out to be a music store) was the disclaimer: Not really, but we have some lovely deals on musical instruments. 

I hurried inside. 

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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19 Responses to Awkward Slogans

  1. Forrest Pasky says:

    Awesome read to start a Monday. Thanks MItch. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That hair salon sounds just right for me, we ugly guys have a right to good hair at least.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Haha, “good food” !
    And my husband’s grandfather was a Chicago homicide detective with a sense of humor. I wonder if he made that first one up…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. For just one moment there, Mitch, my ferret thought we were on to something.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Slogans are sometimes right on the money. These were a great way to start my day. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, now that’s one heck of a brilliant music store! (and who thinks up something like sex aids for ferrets?!)

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Such fun examples, Mitch! Thank you for the smiles. I also find much humor among the disclaimers on products. (Did you once write a blog about those, too?) One that I recall from years ago on a baby swing: “Do not store with baby in seat.” I am not kidding.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. It never fails when you try to make a statement and the truth appears out of nowhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. E says:

    Hilarious! Cheers to fantastically funny, bad adverts. I wrote my graduate research on media images of women. Step one to deconstructing the media is pay attention. These certainly get our attention!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, my goodness… I’m laughing until the tear stream down my face. Too, too funny! Thank you, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. carhicks says:

    I love those ads. Nice way to start my day.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ann Coleman says:

    All of the examples made me smile, but I have to admit I liked the police officer’s coffee cup the best!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. gpavants says:

    Hi Mitch,

    HA, ha, and clever bad taste?


    Liked by 1 person

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