I love bad advertising. The two biggest shopping days of the year, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, always bring a plethora of ads, most of them slick and forgettable. But a few, especially those for local establishments, are wonderfully awkward:
- A Chinese restaurant we frequent proclaims, We promise you “good food,” apparently unaware that the use of quote marks sarcastically implies the opposite.
- One of our favorite pizza places features the motto: The pizza you can eat! As opposed to doing what else with it, exactly?
- This morning I received an email promoting Always White Tooth Whiteners with the tagline: A bright smile sends a message: “Look at my teeth–I didn’t eat your jelly.” What?
- A hair salon in London, England advertises: Tired of being ugly with bad hair?! Just be ugly!! Right, blokes, never miss a chance to insult your clients.
- On the other hand, a shop I visited in Canterbury, England, featured my favorite all-time window ad. In bold letters it announced: Sex aids for ferrets! Then, in small print below, forcing one to come near (to what turned out to be a music store) was the disclaimer: Not really, but we have some lovely deals on musical instruments.
I hurried inside.