Label-otomy

Part One: Who Knew?

Ohh3

Especially if your hand is made out of hand.

Ohh1

But if I do, how many miles will my butt get before it needs a retread?

Ohh2

Now you tell us!

Peanuts1

Aha! So peanuts DO contain peanuts. I’d long suspected it.

Peanuts2

Well, then, what kind of ant poison can I eat?

Clothing

Even if I’m, like, in a hurry?

Ohh4

Oh, shoot, I think I may have one of those!

Part Two: Made in China

China2

Got it.

China3

Good tip.

China4

Even better tip.

China6

Well, alrighty then.

China1

Excuse me?

China5

What about alligators?

Part Three: Miscellaneous Advice

Made in Sweden, not Texas

This is IKEA, not Texas.

China7

Duh, does anybody NOT use goggles while opening their mail? (Side Note: How cool is it that this letter opener looks just like the whale from “Pinocchio?”)

China8-no operating the forklift today, Rex

Sorry, Rex, no more driving the forklift until after the vet says OK. And stay outa my beer!

Death-Hideous but cool looking death

Warning: Hideous but fascinating-to-watch death may ensue.

⇔

“Secretly we’re all a little more absurd than we make ourselves out to be.”

~J. K. Rowling

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Popular Culture & Entertainment, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Label-otomy

  1. yeah, but the “don’t slap pandas” is good advice. You’d think they’d make that warning a little bigger.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. bdeckard92 says:

    To be fair I have been tempted (and given in to the temptation) of ironing while wearing a shirt… just to flatten the collar. From experience I can say that it is advisable to adhere to the warning…. or be ready to adhere to the shirt…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. atimetoshare.me says:

    These are too funny. Obviously someone had too much time on their hands or dental pain😜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ekurie says:

    I always wonder what to do with that last little bit of thread, too. Might as well use it for personal expression. Or cries for dental help.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Forrest Pasky says:

    This was awesome break from work.
    Thanks for sharing Mitch. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. smzang says:

    I was really curious about the ant trap because it looks so real.
    This is what I found: (still shaking my head)
    https://www.raid.com/en-us/products/raid-ant-baits/tabs/precautions

    Much enjoyed!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nancy Ruegg says:

    They do this on purpose to add a little levity to our lives. What other explanation could there possibly be?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great giggle – I don’t know which is sillier, the labels or the fact that anyone must be told to remove the child before laundering the shirt

    Liked by 1 person

  9. MegClift says:

    Always think it’s a shame when we have to remove our children from the clothes before placing in the machine. Heaps less fun…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ron Whited says:

    What’s really disturbing is that the reason these silly labels exist in the first place is because someone actually did what the warning label says.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. woodtic says:

    I had to take the keys off my dog after I caught him driving on his meds. Difficult decision, but best for everyone

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Absurdly funny! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. A very funny selection !!!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This provided a needed laugh this morning!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pastor Randy says:

    Loved them all, and you know Mitch, that somewhere, some person actually did some of those things the labels warned NOT to do, like “do not iron while wearing shirt”–geez…..no wonder insurance is so high!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ann Coleman says:

    Where in the world did you find these? I know our culture has been “dumbing down” lately, but these go way past the category of stating the obvious! So funny! These beat those silly lawyer ads that tell people that “if you’ve had a reaction to (insert some drug here) that caused serious injury or death, you may be entitled to monetary compensation.” I’ve always wondered how you can sue someone after you’re dead…..

    Liked by 1 person

  17. gerrymackrell says:

    Not funny, pay attention and heed the warnings.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Roos Ruse says:

    My day’s set on funny now!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. gpavants says:

    Ha, ha, ha, and ha-haaah! Needed that today. Wow, really?

    Liked by 1 person

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