Hello, God?

(See videos at end of this post)

funny-protest-signs01My friend Mina is proudly neopagan. What’s a neopagan? Good question. It would be easier to say what a neopagan isn’t, since they represent more of a subculture than a specific set of beliefs. Mostly, though, they are not-christian…ians. Which was the key to Mina’s “conversion,” in the first place. It wasn’t about what she was for, it was about what she was against.

Mina was raised by legalistic parents for whom God was The Great Killjoy, his motto: “If it feels good, don’t do it!” What she fled to when she left that narrow (and unbiblical) set of beliefs was the extreme opposite, a sort of religious democracy in which everyone gets to define who or what they want God to be. Mina bristles at the slightest suggestion that God might not be customizable. Fact is, I’m not sure she actually even believes in God. But that’s not the point. The point is that she has a right to define him, her, or it the way she wants to. Dammit!

But what if there is a God?

bread_with_legs___by_ambitiousartisan-d6y8btoI’m going to go out on a limb and assume you have a body and a personality with likes, dislikes, abilities and passions. Now, there may be someone in, say, Indiana (or Indonesia) who believes you are “a walking slice of pumpkin bread”—and I would defend that person’s right to believe what they wish.

But that would not make it true.

When God first spoke to Moses, Moses asked, Who shall I say sent me? “I AM WHO I AM,” God replied, “tell them I AM sent you.” (Exodus 3:13-14)  God’s point?  “I am not who they say I am, I AM WHO I AM!”  Dammit!  (OK, I admit, I added that last word.)

The comedy sketch Hello, God? first performed by my old duo Mitch & Allen, addresses some common misconceptions about God, misconceptions based on speculation, rather than revelation. The point? If a person (divine or otherwise) does not choose to reveal themselves, we can never really know who they are.

In Hello, God? a young man attempts to reach God by telephone. Instead of contacting the God who is, he ends up dialing a series of misconceptions, i.e. God who isn’ts.

Dear Mina, I love you. And I pray that one day you’ll come to know the God who is, a God who, however uncustomizable, is infinitely more wonderful…than any God who isn’t.

You can read or download the complete script by clicking here!


And you can watch the old Mitch & Allen videos right now!

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Religion/Faith, Videos and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Hello, God?

  1. There is all the difference in the world between imagination and revelation. Everyone has the right to believe in the God (god) of their imagination, but I believe in the God who has revealed Himself to me. And by the affirming peace and presence of God I increase my revelation of Him through prayer and by reading Scripture.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Ha! Those were just adorable,made all the funnier because Peter is trying to talk to God on some old fashioned device that seems to resemble a banana with a pig’s tale. It reminds me of Get Smart and his shoe phone. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. robertcday says:

    God once called me once and when I answered he just said ‘sorry, wrong number’. I thought it was funny at the time, but when I look back on it, I’m not so sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. notdonner says:

    I recall once hearing a comic talk about getting a busy signal when he “called” God. When “Bruce Almighty” was given the charge to answer prayers, he couldn’t handle it and affirmed everyone. None of the petitioners were happy as a result. Unfortunately, people who fit God into their particular circumstance never are truly joyful.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. smzang says:

    I absolutely love the ‘basket case’ reference to Moses. So much humor in these truths, and so much truth in the humor. Mitch and Allen are/were great teachers.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ekurie says:

    I sometimes wonder if I’m completely addressing the wrong guy, then worry that the right One is actually listening to all that blather. Then I remember there’s Somebody Who’s interceding all along.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Thanks for sharing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. When I was 16, I walked away from the church. It seemed that I had no tolerance for hypocrisy. Yeah, it took nearly twenty years to see the irony in that, so hush. 😂

    During the time I was away, I chose to follow the traditional ways of the Cherokee side of my family tree. I learned the language, the old stories and the old traditions. Worst of all, I learned to pray to their Creator.

    For years I decried and derided Christianity as being this horrible and conquering force that ruined lives of countless people all over the globe. I’ve since learned to separate people from their motives and beliefs, and have come to different conclusions about history.

    One of the things I was taught was that God is customisable, as you said. I was taught that truth was effectively subjective and based upon human perception. I was taught that there wasn’t a single Truth, but rather multiple truths, all based upon what felt right to the person holding it.

    Take heart, there is hope of rescuing your friend from the weeds. It just takes patience, healing of old wounds and a quiet form of evangelism that is more subtle than profound. I pray she finds her way, and soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent blog…and of course, love seeing the old sketches again! 🙂 But mostly, I was deeply touched by your heart for your friend Mina and the hard place she is in (for her and for you), and I will be praying. 🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  10. landl30 says:

    Great stuff.. and particularly about the “customizable” part. I sent along a reply to your comment on my last poemsperday.com… if it doesn’t pop up on your email, go over and check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. gpavants says:

    Hi Mitch,

    I think my son and girlfriend fall in that category. Yes, we keep praying that theft Jesus for who He us and not the image that they detest.



    Liked by 1 person

  12. numrhood says:

    no exodus 3:11


  13. Roos Ruse says:

    I too pray for Mina’s breakthrough. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, your videos are the highlight of my day. Thanks Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Bumper Sticker Madness! | Mitch Teemley

  15. Jon says:

    Never sorry for stopping to read (and watch).

    Liked by 1 person

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