They!

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“You know what They say…” I’ve heard all my life,

and I’ve often wondered just who They is,

to know so little and stir up such strife.

Without They the world would be in such bliss.

Then it happened one day as I travelled up north

that I stumbled upon a town called Rumor.

It seems I’d gotten completely off course

and by now was lacking my usual humor.

While there, I stopped at the Whispering Inn

and met a guileless waitress named Evy.

Not Evie, mind you, like Adam’s girlfriend,

but ev as in never and lever and heavy.

I learned as she chattered and slid me a beer

that her name was somebody-something-or-other.

I think she said, “Evelyn Thingyahear,”

but I couldn’t be sure, so I ordered another.

Evy told me that every passerby

had something important to reveal.

“I learn so much, oh, my, oh, my!”

she said with gullible gleeful zeal.

“And of course, I just have to communicate

such terribly, horribly meaningful facts!

Do you have something to tell me today?”

“Yes, I do,” I said, now I can’t take it back.

Then I told her the earth was made of soap,

scientists now were completely sure.

And she clapped and said that it filled her with hope

to learn that the world was perfectly pure.

As I left, the barkeeper beckoned me near

and whispered (so that’s why it’s called Whispering Inn),

“Hey, don’t believe Evy Thingyahear,

better find out where those facts have been.”

That night on the news: “They say Earth’s Made of Soap!”

At once I was finally able to see.

How could I ever have been such a dope?

I finally knew–yes, it’s true–

They is me!

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to They!

  1. Reminds me of that Pogo cartoon…

    “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Excellent reminder! Well done! Mitch, I reopened my blog and have a new post up today! Wander by in your spare time and feel free to let family and friends know! Making a few minor changes and would appreciate your feedback with a comment. Ok, now I can stop playing Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. I know the song, just can’t recall who sang it but I know you will know! I missed my friends and the community which is unique!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I knew you would nail it! Brings back some memories of what you and I could call the good old days! Praying for you and your movie ministry! And for your writing ministry here! Thank you for your friendship and encouragement ! It’s good to be back!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. wilforbis says:

    Funnily enough, I stumbled across this recently (speaks to the “who is they” question.): http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2017/05/they-4.html

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ekurie says:

    Scary but true. The ubiquitous they.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ha! I love the “they.” The bad people, the scary ones, the others, them. Our secret alien overlords. “They” make us do all kinds of ridiculous and foolish things. Also, half the time they control our brains. Why do you think that way ? They said. Well now, that settles it than 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. skd says:

    Brilliant. They say, your post is too good….😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. E A Foster says:

    Absolutely love this. Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

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