Attack of the Lusty Cicadas!

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Flashback: I took a cross-country trip when I was 15. We stopped to make sandwiches at a park in Amarillo, Texas. I remember two things about that park: First, it was where I met my lifelong pen pal Judy. Second, there was an incredibly loud buzz in the air, which I assumed was some kind of power-line issue. “Dang,” I thought, “ee-lectricity shore is loud in Texas!” (In honor of my surroundings, I thought in a stereotype Texas accent.)

Back to the future. I now live in Cincinnati, Ohio. Two things: First, Judy is still my pen pal, only we prefer the futuristic term “Facebook friend.” Second, as of this morning, I live with the source of that buzz: not, ee-lectricity, as it turns out, but cicadas!

I opened the front door this morning and found 9 ½ million cicadas, actually their exoskeletons, on my front porch. Where are the big red-eyed buggers themselves? In the trees making come hither noises. I.e. Buzzing. Loudly. Which translates to, “Check this out, babe. You know you want some.”

Cicadas are not subtle. You wouldn’t be either if your entire life consisted of waiting underground for 17 years to abandon your old skin (the cicada equivalent to shopping whitney_Cicada_0101370025303for trendy clothes) and search for one moment of perfect bliss. Come to think of it, that’s what I was like at 17. And I was nearly as loud.

I can’t wait till next month when the lightning bugs emerge with their little love-butts aglow.

Ah, summer romance.

Do y’all have cicadas or some other equally lusty critters in yore neck ‘o the woods? (Sorry, I slipped into that fake-Tex accent again.)

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Memoir and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Attack of the Lusty Cicadas!

  1. Jon says:

    I remember a trip as a boy with my dad to the Pecos River in eastern New Mexico when the cicadas were covering every mesquite bush. What a cacophony! Did you visit Prairie Dog Pete at the park in Lubbock?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I live in Texas and I sure hope not to see any Cicadas🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ron Whited says:

    Having just moved to Florida I’m scared to think of the cicada like critters that abound here. I know there are 12.2 trillion love bugs in this state but not sure how loud they get!
    I won’t miss those Ohio summers filled with endless cicadas.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The sound of cicadas in our garden in Crete was deafening at times. The funniest time was when our dog would (seemingly accidentally) catch one in his mouth. It sounded like he had a radio receiver in his mouth! The cicadas escaped unharmed!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We have cicadas and 17 year old boys in Ontario Canada – both are loud although one has a 2 million watt stereo located in his parent-bought trendy new skin (BMW or equivalent imported sports car) to blast his mating call through. Both are living out hormone induced behaviour and both have a buzz going on – one maybe induced by a chemical not produced by their own body

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Alexis Rose says:

    Yes, August in MN is loud with Cicadas.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. alslaff says:

    Going on record… I hate bugs almost as much as I hate snakes. As far as I can tell, no such thing as a “cute” bug or snake. But that is me.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Yes, all of us in Cincinnati are braced for the onslaught of cicadas. The critters in your neck of the woods are ahead of schedule. We’ve only seen a few here–so far. As I recall, the noise is not only deafening but they bump right into you as they helicopter around. Can’t see well, I guess. Maybe it’s just another way for them to party. Thankfully the thunk (usually to the head) doesn’t hurt, but it does startle. If you hear some screeches from north of Mount Airy? That’s me.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. mistermuse says:

    Ditto Nancy’s comment — here, east of town, we’re seeing them but not yet hearing them. By the way, I understand they’re quite nutritious, but I think that opinion is for the birds. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Just for fun I googled recipes for cidadas. Out of many sites, National Geo was near the top, and Bon Appetit (of all sources!) was listed first. Question is: can I stir up enough courage to try? M-m-m. I have eaten chocolate-covered ants. They tasted like Nestle’s Crunch.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hilarious! And we sure doooo! I was just looking at pictures of my boys holding them today…they like to get the ones that fall from the trees that are weak or dying…ha ha! They hold them right up to their face and say “POST THIS ONE ON FACEBOOK!”…and I’m happy to oblige 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ekurie says:

    To me they sound like golf course sprinkler systems. I don’t play but sometimes walk with my brother when he does. We also have locusts, the multi-colored 3 inch ones that fear nothing, crickets, peepers, grasshoppers, and tree frogs. Deafening by mid-July.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jennie says:

    Great post, Mitch. As always, I love your humor.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sometimes the sound of them gets a bit over-powering here in Colorado. We had lightening bugs in Wisconsin where I grew up – none out here-boo hoo! Miss seeing them floating around at night. We do have a pond which is filled to the brim with frogs – I swear you can hear them a half a mile away! LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Paula says:

    Michigan has them too. When we were kids, we would spot the exoskeletons mostly on our cedar trees as if those were the best spots to shed. Then the noise…yep…cacophony is the best word.
    (lust-butts–someone told me years ago it’s only the females who light up. hmmmm)

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I have never encountered cicadas except in books 🙂 I do have a 17 year old son, though, who is not loud at all. In fact, he complains about how loud his sisters are!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I like your “amorous bug” take on cicadas, but I still think of them as “little monsters” – albeit only in looks, since they are harmless. I’ll take a lightening bug any day 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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