Deep Thoughts (While Avoiding Weekend Chores)

Some Useful Terms:

the_shelf_sweepAmbibiguity: The ability to make indecipherable gestures with either or both hands.

Pontypical: Something the Pope says on a regular basis.

Billigrams: The amount of weight an evangelist carries with God (R. J. Thomas).

Carcasm:  Snide remarks my car makes behind my back  (“Do you even know what oil viscosity is?”).

Cpresentation1atskills: Chasing invisible intruders; fitting on windowsills that are one fourth as wide as they are; making their legs disappear beneath them so they look like furry little gondolas; standing on top of you and pawing your face when you oversleep (past 5 a. m.), until you finally get up and feed them.*

*Not to be confused with the mountain resort of the same name in upstate New York where comedians go to die.

Something I’d like to Read:  Field and Stream-of-Consciousness Magazine,  for existentialistic outdoorsmen and women.

th5ytzfqgtProfound question of the day: Did you ever kill all the ants in your kitchen, except one, so that it could go back and warn the others to stay away, making you feel like the villain in a bad western?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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20 Responses to Deep Thoughts (While Avoiding Weekend Chores)

  1. Erika Kind says:

    Haha!! I took me quite some time until I was able to read that first term 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  2. In answer to the last, yes!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cool definitions! Now, I just stopped by because I felt led to pray for you today. 2:06 pm eastern. Praying now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hm. I think our President does that first one. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Will Marler says:

    The ant came back with a bigger army like a bad mob movie.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like your sense of humour!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha! Fun read. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thanks for the many chuckles today! Especially loved the profound question. I may give it a whirl the next time I have ants!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Fun reading to take our minds off OUR chores, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Funny

    On Sat, Feb 25, 2017 at 10:20 AM, Mitch Teemley wrote:

    > mitchteemley posted: “Some Useful Terms: Ambibiguity: The ability to make > indecipherable gestures with either or both hands. Pontypical: Something > the Pope says on a regular basis. Billigrams: The amount of weight an > evangelist carries with the God (R. J. Thomas). Carcasm: Sn” >

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hope the chores got done after the fact. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Paul S says:

    Carcasm is a classic. My 12 year old banger is fluent in it!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Paula says:

    That darn cat!
    Speaking of magazines, I just received in the mail yesterday the latest issue of “Better Homes Than Mine.” Have a nice time stormin’ the castle, Mitch!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. RGS says:

    No, I never kill the little ants. I take them outside so they can lead the others to some other place.
    All God’s creatures.

    Liked by 1 person

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