Some Useful Terms:
Ambibiguity: The ability to make indecipherable gestures with either or both hands.
Pontypical: Something the Pope says on a regular basis.
Billigrams: The amount of weight an evangelist carries with God (R. J. Thomas).
Carcasm: Snide remarks my car makes behind my back (“Do you even know what oil viscosity is?”).
Catskills: Chasing invisible intruders; fitting on windowsills that are one fourth as wide as they are; making their legs disappear beneath them so they look like furry little gondolas; standing on top of you and pawing your face when you oversleep (past 5 a. m.), until you finally get up and feed them.*
*Not to be confused with the mountain resort of the same name in upstate New York where comedians go to die.
Something I’d like to Read: Field and Stream-of-Consciousness Magazine, for existentialistic outdoorsmen and women.
Profound question of the day: Did you ever kill all the ants in your kitchen, except one, so that it could go back and warn the others to stay away, making you feel like the villain in a bad western?