The Most Momentous Day of the Year! (or Not)

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February 2nd is Groundhog Day, a day which reminds the world that Americans are still at the pinnacle of absurdity: People in the town of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (from an old Native American word meaning “white men are schmucks”) wear top hats, speak an incomprehensible version of German, and watch a groundhog* named Phil “predict” the future. Groundhog Day is referred to by groundhogs as “Humans Are Idiots Day.”

February 2nd is also known as Fall Off the Wagon Day because, according to the Foursquare City Guide, it is the day of the year when the largest number of people both abandon their New Years Resolutions and eat the greatest amount of junk food. Groundhogs refer to it as “See, We Told You Humans Were Idiots Day.”

Finally, February 2nd is the day on which, 12 years ago, my family moved away from sunny Southern California. We were going to live in Paris, but then at the last minute said, “Wait! Let’s go someplace romantic!” So, of course, we ended up in Cincinnati, Ohio. And we actually like it. Groundhogs refer to this as…oh, wait, you already know.

You may have seen this before:

*Note: Young groundhogs are referred to as “chucklings,” no doubt because this is what they do when they observe humans.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Memoir, Movies, Videos and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The Most Momentous Day of the Year! (or Not)

  1. Personally I love Humans Are Idiots Day, it reminds me a very important fact. That humans are idiots.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. atimetoshare.me says:

    Amen! I imagine all the woodland creatures are having a good laugh today .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jeffw5382 says:

    Brilliant. Humans are the most wretched creatures and are idiots to distract them from facing the truth of that fact. There is hope of redemption, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some things are better said with pictures…so…😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nancy Ruegg says:

    A bit of silliness in the middle of winter is a good thing! (At least we don’t run with bulls in the streets.)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lucie says:

    See?!! I knew there was a reason that I was sitting here eating buttered popcorn and an ice cream sandwich!!! Thx Mitch. I knew there was a logical reason for falling off the wagon! ;)p

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You can add us Canadians into the mix! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. cat9984 says:

    Actually groundhogs much prefer July 2. They can lie in the sun and enjoy the pool. I know this because we have one who suns himself on the patio every year.

    Liked by 1 person

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