I’ve been getting way too deep lately. Figured it was time to pull out my Groaner File. These are originals, so you have only me to blame if you don’t find them pleasantly punny. (P.S. Add your own groaners in the Leave a Reply section!)
Question: What does a sadist do?
Answer: Beats me.
A. There’s a new treatment for mosquito bites.
B. Yeah, I’m itching to try it.
Brochure seen in a plastic surgeon’s office: “Picking Your Nose.”
A. I used to go to a masseuse. But I quit.
B. Why?
A. She rubbed me the wrong way.
Banker’s Joke (rated SR for “slightly rude”) – Genesis 38:9: “Whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, Onan spilled his semen on the ground. What he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and so He took Onan’s life.” This is the oldest known example of a …(wait for it)… “substantial penalty for early withdrawal.”
Bonus:
Mitch Teemley 
These are awful! Just terrible…. *smh*
But, I get that the stress of gravity may have really been getting you down lately. Perhaps you need a new dream? Like opening a photo processing store in a developing country?
I wish you the best, though, and if you were a lemon who needed help, I’d offer you some lemon-aid. ❥
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;>)
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In the interest of full disclosure, those are not my puns! 😉 I’ve seen the masseuse one before, lol! GMTA, I s’pose! This post gave me the gigglez!
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Ah, well. I came up with it independently, but it’s a pretty obvious gag, so no surprise others came up with it too.
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Nothing like Heath Ledger cosplay to lighten the mood.
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Thank you, Mitch A little chuckle is very helpful today
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The toothpaste one made me laugh out loud!
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HAAA! Have you found Jesus? Love that one.
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Not many hiding places in that house, huh? Could lose him easier in my clutter.
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Right on! 🙂
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Do you know why the ant crawled up the elephant’s leg the second time???
(It got pissed off the first time)
Adolescents LOVE this one :).
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Here’s one for you:
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To say hello from the other side.
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Love the sadist one. I’ve been trying for quite awhile and I can’t come up with a pun, which really bugs me. This is as close as I got. “Why did the protester cross the road? To hear the other side.” Well, I tried.
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;>)
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Ha.
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