Groan!

I’ve been getting way too deep lately. Figured it was time to pull out my Groaner File. These are originals, so you have only me to blame if you don’t find them pleasantly punny. (P.S. Add your own groaners in the Leave a Reply section!)

presentation1Question: What does a sadist do?148957_600

Answer: Beats me.

A. There’s a new treatment for mosquito bites.

B. Yeah, I’m itching to try it.
presentation2

Brochure seen in a plastic surgeon’s office: “Picking Your Nose.”presentation3

A.     I used to go to a masseuse. But I quit.

B.     Why?

A.     She rubbed me the wrong way.

Banker’s Joke (rated SR for “slightly rude”) –  Genesis 38:9:Whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, Onan spilled his semen on the ground. What he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and so He took Onan’s life.This is the oldest known example of a …(wait for it)… “substantial penalty for early withdrawal.”

Bonus:have-you-found-jesus

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Quips and Quotes and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Groan!

  1. These are awful! Just terrible…. *smh*

    But, I get that the stress of gravity may have really been getting you down lately. Perhaps you need a new dream? Like opening a photo processing store in a developing country?

    I wish you the best, though, and if you were a lemon who needed help, I’d offer you some lemon-aid. ❥

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nothing like Heath Ledger cosplay to lighten the mood.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. jeffw5382 says:

    Thank you, Mitch A little chuckle is very helpful today

    Liked by 1 person

  4. beigebirds says:

    The toothpaste one made me laugh out loud!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. HAAA! Have you found Jesus? Love that one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Do you know why the ant crawled up the elephant’s leg the second time???
    (It got pissed off the first time)
    Adolescents LOVE this one :).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Here’s one for you:
    Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
    A: To say hello from the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. BelleUnruh says:

    Love the sadist one. I’ve been trying for quite awhile and I can’t come up with a pun, which really bugs me. This is as close as I got. “Why did the protester cross the road? To hear the other side.” Well, I tried.

    Liked by 1 person

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