Canceling My TV Service

It’s time to break up with our service provider again. So hard. Guess I’ll use my usual line, “It’s not you, it’s me…”

Mitch Teemley


TSP (Television Service Provider): How may I help you?

Me: I’d like to cancel my TV service.

TSP: Are you breaking up with us?

Me: Excuse me?

TSP: May I ask why you’ve decided to discontinue your service?

Me: Well, I had an offer from a competitor that–

TSP: Whore!

Me: I beg your pardon?

TSP: We would like the opportunity to prove we are the superior provider, sir.

Me: But I’ve already–

TSP: We can do things that bitch would never dream of.

Me: I’m sorry?

TSP: If you re-subscribe today, we will promise to beat our competitor’s rates.

Me: Well, you see, they’ve already installed their system, so–

680-03180131erTSP: So you’ve been running around behind our back?

Me: What?

TSP: If you’d notified us in advance, sir, we would have done everything necessary to retain your loyalty.

Me: Yeah, well, sorry, but it’s kind of a done deal.

TSP: Do you know how lucky…

View original post 106 more words

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Mitchellaneous, The Wishing Map and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Canceling My TV Service

  1. jac forsyth says:

    It’s all about relationships in the end. Brilliant post, love the dualistic dialogue. Thanks for making me laugh again, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wally Fry says:

    Too funny, especially in light of the fact that I WORK for a TV service provider!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Heather says:

    It’s not wise to refuse to reconcile with the superior Provider.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JJAzar says:

    I laughed out loud. Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

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