Canceling My TV Service

It’s time to break up with our service provider again. So hard. Guess I’ll use my usual line, “It’s not you, it’s me…”

Mitch Teemley

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TSP (Television Service Provider): How may I help you?

Me: I’d like to cancel my TV service.

TSP: Are you breaking up with us?

Me: Excuse me?

TSP: May I ask why you’ve decided to discontinue your service?

Me: Well, I had an offer from a competitor that–

TSP: Whore!

Me: I beg your pardon?

TSP: We would like the opportunity to prove we are the superior provider, sir.

Me: But I’ve already–

TSP: We can do things that bitch would never dream of.

Me: I’m sorry?

TSP: If you re-subscribe today, we will promise to beat our competitor’s rates.

Me: Well, you see, they’ve already installed their system, so–

680-03180131erTSP: So you’ve been running around behind our back?

Me: What?

TSP: If you’d notified us in advance, sir, we would have done everything necessary to retain your loyalty.

Me: Yeah, well, sorry, but it’s kind of a done deal.

TSP: Do you know how lucky…

View original post 106 more words

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Humor, Mitchellaneous, The Wishing Map and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Canceling My TV Service

  1. jac forsyth says:

    It’s all about relationships in the end. Brilliant post, love the dualistic dialogue. Thanks for making me laugh again, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wally Fry says:

    Too funny, especially in light of the fact that I WORK for a TV service provider!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Heather says:

    It’s not wise to refuse to reconcile with the superior Provider.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JJAzar says:

    I laughed out loud. Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

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