Animal Group Names

pets1Most official names for things are dull. But group names for animals are a hoot. Here are some of my favorites (Source: The Oxford Dictionary):

Appropriate  (What else could they be called?)

  • Cats – Pounce or Glaring
  • Cockroaches – Intrusion (so appropriate)
  • Flamingoes – Flamboyance (I mean, they’re really just storks in drag, right?)
  • Giraffes – Tower (well, duh)
  • Gnats – Cloud
  • Goldfish – Troubling (fortunately, guppies are excellent therapists)
  • lounge_lizards_tHippos – Bloat (“I’m lactose intolerant.”)
  • Jellyfish – Smack (well, yeah)
  • Lizards – Lounge (“Another fly martini, please.”)  ⇒
  • Owls – Parliament (love those little mouse-fur wigs)
  • Porcupines – Prickle
  • Rhinos – Crash
  • Sharks – Shiver (“Dude, paddle for shore–now!”)
  • Storks – Muster (because they couldn’t muster up the costumes to be flamingoes)
  • Tigers – Ambush
  • Weasels – Sneak (frequently employed by tigers)

Awww, Just Awww!

  • adorable-ottersButterflies – Flutter
  • Chickens – Peep
  • Ducks – Paddling
  • Monkeys – Cartload (even more fun than a barrel)
  • Otters – Romp (this one’s for my wife)
  • Squirrels – Scurry
  • Unicorns – Blessing

Seriously?

  • Alligators – Congregation (“Please turn in your hymnals to page 243, Shall We Gather at the River)
  • Apes – Shrewdness (um, kind of…?)
  • Crows – Murder (the hitmen of the animal world)
  • Emus – Mob (“An angry mob of emus gathered outside the Australian Parliament yesterday, shouting, ‘Stop the crows! Stop the crows!’”)
  • Gnus – Implausibility (indeed)
  • Rattlesnakes – Rhumba (actually, what we do when we see a group of rattlesnakes)
  • Ravens – Conspiracy (they plot against you, then they send their cousins the crows to finish the job)
  • Seals – Harem (“Welcome to my tent, leetle one, take off your veil. Arf! Arf! Excuse me, I got a leetle beet excited.”)
  • Toads – Knot (ew, just ew)
  • Wombats – Wisdom (like apes, only more trustworthy)

tha8fmpb0t

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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18 Responses to Animal Group Names

  1. Michael Wilhelm says:

    SKUNKS – Respect (They’re inter-racial [Black & White] and you don’t mess with them).

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Lovely and fun post! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Quirky Girl says:

    These are hilarious! Especially the murder of crows and blessing of unicorns. 😛

    Liked by 4 people

  4. The Crash of the Rhinos – sounds like a bestseller!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Nancy Ruegg says:

    Very entertaining, especially your parenthetical comments bringing up comical images. My faves: the mouse-fur wigs of parliamentary owls and a congregation of alligators singing, “Shall We Gather at the River.” Thanks for the smiles, Mitch!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. jac forsyth says:

    Haha, brilliant. I always thought, A Convocation of Eagles, would make a great book title – and possible sequel to Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit. Seriously, why did they not catch a lift?

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Thanks for th good laugh!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. tabitha59reachingout says:

    Very cute and very clever. Loved it! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  9. celia says:

    How do you think of these things? You may have a gathering all your own … a curiosity of Teemlys?

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Very fun! Thanks for the entertainment! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. knabbler says:

    What fun it will be to slip these into conversations! Thanks for lightening up my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. cathy k says:

    You missed a Congress of Baboons!

    From: Mitch Teemley To: xxcatxx35711@yahoo.com Sent: Tuesday, October 4, 2016 10:10 AM Subject: [New post] Animal Group Names #yiv7747942923 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv7747942923 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv7747942923 a.yiv7747942923primaryactionlink:link, #yiv7747942923 a.yiv7747942923primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv7747942923 a.yiv7747942923primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv7747942923 a.yiv7747942923primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv7747942923 WordPress.com | mitchteemley posted: “Most official names for things are dull. But group names for animals are a hoot. Here are some of my favorites (Source: The Oxford Dictionary):Appropriate  (What else could they be called?) Cats – Pounce or Glaring (sounds about right) Cockroaches – I” | |

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Paula says:

    “Glaring” for cats is spot-on. Ask any cat owner. (A Mitchellaneous of Teemleys. Works for me.) :>)

    Liked by 1 person

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