Real Fatherhood

thwkgviinaDuring self-introductions a college student of mine once boasted that he’d fathered 11 children by 11 different mothers.

I normally avoid judgmental statements. Not this time. “Do you support them?” I asked.

“Uh, no!” he said with a grin.

“Then you’re not a real father. You’re a child abuser,” I replied. A period of awkward silence followed. Which normally bothers me. Not this time.

Fatherhood is being there. With your time. With your heart. With your paycheck. When it’s convenient, and when it’s not.

hank-baskettTo all of the real fathers out there: I celebrate you!

To all of those who are not:

Man up and get real.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, For Pastors and Teachers and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to Real Fatherhood

  1. kriztal34 says:

    Haha that’s right! Preach!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You know those times when, later on you’re like, “I wish I had said…”? In this case, there was absolutely no need for you to wonder. I can’t think of a more appropriate answer. I’m sure the young man wasn’t the only student in the class that benefited from that reality check.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Yu/stan/kema says:

    Very good. You hit a home run, Mitch.

    Liked by 3 people

    • terrieann says:

      This is an awesome piece, well said! I write regularly on Motherhood from my personal experience in raising 3 boys. Clearly I am not a Father and don’t have the experience to personally. I do have my beliefs of the part a father or father figure can do for a child. I enjoyed this very much. Thank You!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My friend and full time evangelist, RV Brown wrote a book for fathers titled Step Up To The Plate Dad. My church emphasizes in messages and small groups and retreats, the importance of men, if fathers to act like one. Good post!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. DeniseBalog says:

    Thank you Mitch!! It is time to stand up and speak truth!! Certainly someone boasting in 11 children faced with all the emotional issues of a father who does not care, not to mention the lack of financial support, is when “enough is enough”! Maybe your words will make a change in this man’s life, and better yet, the children who long to know him as their Dad. Excellent post!!

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Mitch years ago I had sole custody of my young son when this was unusual
    for single fathers.
    Now my son has primary custody for his two teenagers.
    It is a full time, often difficult and tiring but rewarding experience.
    Great post!
    Brad James

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Roos Ruse says:

    You hit that out of the park, Mitch. Signed, Abandoned Daughter.

    Liked by 6 people

  7. Yep,a salute to fathers! It’s the quality of fatherhood that matters here,not the quantity of children. Those who are not supporting their kids,not involved with them, are really missing out on some precious things. The kids will suffer, but in the end the dads will suffer too.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. bdeckard92 says:

    Of what you listed I think time is the most important. I new a young man who’s dad was wealthy beyond measure (well beyond my measure which means he didn’t have to eat Raman for the last 5 days of the month) but the dad was never around. He was always off on business. This was the abuse of neglect and it made a very angry young man. I remember a good friend of mine once said that kids need your time and attention more than your money. That’s not to say that we don’t have the responsibility of support, just to give guidance on our choices.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Jessica says:

    Wow. That moment will stand for all time.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. tabitha59reachingout says:

    Good for you for speaking up, Mitch. There is far too much silence in this world over things that are wrong. I hope that young man changes his way. Blessings on you. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  11. terrieann says:

    Reblogged this on Midwest Girl's Dreams.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. RGSherman says:

    Telling it like it is, Mitch! Fearless.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Excellent, Mitch! Kiddos for your courage to say the hard things to that student, and for rebelling the story! 👍🏻

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Mitch, you’re today’s hero for confronting this guy. Wanna join my club? It’s called “take your political correctness and put it in a dark place.” Our club motto is “if you can’t talk sense with nice words then kick butt with the truth.”

    Liked by 4 people

  15. dawnlizjones says:

    Mega-mega points! Like it’s been said, it doesn’t take anyone special to father a child, but it takes somebody special to be a dad.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Lorien says:

    Thank you for allowing the integrity within you to speak to the absence of integrity he was flaunting. Perhaps a balance can be struck now…And good for you to meet him for coffee afterwards. I have to say I’m feeling deep sadness for all of the mothers and all of the children who haven’t been given the time they deserve. I hope they will manage to have a wonderful father figure in their lives, whether it is a teacher, or step dad, or some kind of mentor…

    Liked by 3 people

  17. nancyehead says:

    Yay! Good for you! God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. That’s great that you confronted someone who fathered children, but had no interest in BEING a father TO those children. It’s terrible that those type of men are out there. Let’s also not forget the flip side of that: father’s who want more than anything to BE fathers, but are kept away by vicious controlling mothers, a crooked and biased legal system, and callous and indifferent officers of the law. We are out there, and we are in pain.

    Liked by 3 people

  19. Well said, Mitch! I’m glad you confronted this twit. (And my heart breaks for the gentleman who commented above — because i’m sure there are many Good Men out there who Want to be a part of their children’s lives, and are being shut out). May God bless you, Walter Singleton, and grant you the opportunity for which your heart yearns.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. Elizabeth says:

    I cannot imagine how sad it is for a child to have only one parent. There’s the financial aspect, of course, but there’s so much more that fathers can offer that mothers cannot and vice versa. I’ll never understand the pride with which people state that they’ve helped to create a child then abandoned him or refused to give the child access to the other parent. How selfish can one be?

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Bespoke Mama says:

    What an awesome post! My husband has just published his first post on our blog about being a father who is 100% committed. It’s called Being a Bespoke Daddy, Not a Feckless Father

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Hi Mitch, very challenging and truthful. I especially liked your comment, being a father is about being there. I am convinced our fatherhood crisis in this world is not just that we are surrounded by bad fathers, but that fathers are absent from their childrens lives. Looking up and down my street, there are children without a male role model in their lives, never mind the support of a father.

    Thank you for your kind words.

    Forever Being Daddy

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Pingback: The Most Important Job Title You Will Ever Have – Forever Being Daddy

  24. A Bearer of Dad News says:

    Well said!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Pingback: My Versatile Blogger Award – homewithpeanut

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