All Books Without “Girl” in Title Banned!

New York, April 31, 2016 (United Press Irrational) – For the last eight years, the #1 best-selling book in America has had the word Girl in its title:

  • 2009 – The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo 61YBq9Ob8xL
  • 2010 – The Girl Who Played With Fire 0307476154.01.LZZZZZZZ
  • 2011 – The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest the-girl-who-kicked-the-hornets-nest-vintage-crime_SWBOTc4MDMwNzczOTk2NA%3D%3D
  • 2012 and 2013 – Gone Girl 41Lg22K3ViL
  • 2014, 2015, 2016ย – The Girl on the Train The-Girl-on-the-Train-UK-e1420761445402(Note: Current NY Times bestseller What She Left Behind squeaked by due to the assumption that “She” represents a “girl”)

As a result, American publishers have announced that henceforth “all books will be required to have the word Girl in their title.”

Martin Bogus, CEO of Random Penguin Books, commented, “I do not read books myself, but pay others to do so, and therefore consider myself an expert. This is clearly what the public wants.”ย  He has ordered the immediate re-issue of the following classics:

  • To Kill a Mocking Girl
  • Of Mice and Girls
  • The Girl in the Iron Mask
  • The Great Girlsby
  • and Homer’s The Girliad

More titlesย will follow.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Books, Culture, Humor, Popular Culture & Entertainment and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to All Books Without “Girl” in Title Banned!

  1. Ha! It is true. Bit self absorbed of us, I’d say. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Face it, we’re more mysterious than guys so we make for a better story. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The Hardy Girls…A Tale of Two City Girls…Girl-i-vers Travels…Around the Girl in Eight Days…I got millions of em’ ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. GM Roberts says:

    …guess I’m screwed. Can’t get “Girl” to fit in “THE LIFE & TIMES OF AN INCORRIGIBLE”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. syddent says:

    Strange Girl in a Strange Land, Something Girly This Way Comes

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I heard they’re gonna reissue another one: The Fault In Our Girls.

    Lol! This was funny. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Laurie Welch says:

    I LOVE this! I am just about to start Anne Bronte’s The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Oops, I mean The Girl of Wildfell Hall ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. theancients says:

    and make sure to lookout for my upcoming NYT bestseller, The Girl Who Cried Wolf

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I know the last part is tongue and cheek orrrrrr ….. I think it is tongue and cheek. I always have trouble going from serious to sarcastic….. seems like I am the fish that takes the bait.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. oneta hayes says:

    Creative. I like it. I always knew something needed to done about “The Hardy Boys.” Why were they swallowed up by Nancy Drew? I would love to see some competition between her and :The Hardy Boys Girl Friends.”

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Paula says:

    Hey, I want to play too! “Girl of the Rings.” “Huckleberry Girl.” “The Poisonwood Girl.” “Schindler’s Girl.” “A Girl of Two Cities.” “About a Girl.” “Much Ado About Girls.” “Girl and Toad Together.” “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Girl.” (I could go on and on)

    Thanks, Mitch; this one’s a keeper!


  12. toutparmoi says:

    The Girliad sounds like a must read. And I’m very partial to that mini-masterpiece The Girl of San Luis Rey.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. RyKenBD says:

    War and Girls
    The fault in our Girls

    Liked by 1 person

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