Fool’s Odyssey 6

Fool's Odyssey

To read Fool’s Odyssey from the beginning, click here.

Chapter One: April Fool’s Day (Continued)

Previously: Newly arrived and oldly lost, the Fool spent a fitful night in a London B & B.

Is it morning?



Is it morning?




Is it–



Morning where?


Oh, England.

Oh, God!  Oh, Hell!



Eat breakfast.  You know, “Break your fast.”  That’s English. Hah, hah, hah–

Oh, God!


I clambered down six flights of stairs to a bed-and-breakfast basement

with good-morning-yellow wallpaper and orange marmalade and bangers and eggs

(W.C. Fields voice: Ah, yes, runny little pools of cholesterol)

and something like Tang,

and sexless white toast,

and tea he-he,


with fourteen Arabs, and one Japanese fellow.


Yoshihiro Tsukura practiced his English on me

while I dangled on the brink of eternity.

Is this it?  Is this culture shock?

Is there life after breakfast? If an egg falls in the forest–

What’s that, Yoshi?

No, there are fifty states.


No, no, Puerto Rico’s a…

I don’t know what it is, exactly, but it’s not a state.


Yoshi was studying to be a big-time politician–law, business–

IQ of 748 or something,

but maybe that was in yen.

One day he would be the Minister of the Something-or-Other in Japan,

and I’d go and visit him,

and they’d drive me around in a Toyota limousine,

and everyone would cheer and throw corn flakes on me

and give me hot baths and walk on my back

and good God I’m in London, England

and I don’t even know why I’m here

and someone said something to me in my sleep last night

and I don’t know who it was

I mean, it might have just been me,

but then again it might have been–

Oh, God!


That day the first of my fantasies began over tea:

“Yoshi!” I thought,

“You clever little Japanese person!

You had it all figured out, didn’t you?”

Life was an adventure, a game of gain.

Sell things, buy things, capital loss, capital gain—

capital idea!

The pound’s the thing.

It’s got the dollar by the collar!

O buck, where is thy sting?


Could I?

I began to dream, began to figure figures and schemes.

With a belly full of bean juice my mind began to perk.

I’d work!

To read Fool’s Odyssey 7, click here.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, Fool's Odyssey, Humor, Memoir, Poetry, Religion/Faith, Story Power and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Fool’s Odyssey 6

  1. Pingback: Fool’s Odyssey 5 | Mitch Teemley

  2. theancients says:

    *smiling here*… good stuff Mitch.
    (yeah, I gotta keep it brief, so I don’t mess up this masterpiece)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with “theancients” the best way to comment is by keeping it brief… that way we don’t upstage creative genius… I’ll be “staying tuned”…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. PS… Thanks for liking my post.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s