Hello, God?

funny-protest-signs01(See videos at end of post)

My friend Mina is proudly neopagan. What’s a neopagan? Good question. It would be easier to say what a neopagan isn’t, since they represent more of a subculture than a specific set of beliefs. Mostly, though, they are not-christian…ians. Which was the key to Mina’s “conversion,” in the first place. It wasn’t about what she was for, it was about what she was against.

Mina was raised by legalistic parents for whom God was The Great Killjoy, his motto: “If it feels good, don’t do it!” What she fled to when she left that narrow (and unbiblical) set of beliefs was the extreme opposite, a sort of religious democracy in which everyone gets to define who or what they want God to be. Mina bristles at the slightest suggestion that God might not be customizable. Fact is, I’m not sure she actually even believes in God. But that’s not the point. The point is that she has a right to define him, her, or it the way she wants to. Dammit!

But what if there is a God?

bread_with_legs___by_ambitiousartisan-d6y8btoI’m going to go out on a limb and assume you have a body and a personality with likes, dislikes, abilities and passions. Now, there may be someone in, say, Indiana (or Indonesia) who believes you are “a walking slice of pumpkin bread”—and I would defend that person’s right to believe what they wish.

But that would not make it true.

006 4001_1When God first spoke to Moses, Moses asked, Who shall I say sent me? “I AM WHO I AM,” God replied, “tell them I AM sent you.” (Exodus 3:13-14)  God’s point?  “I am not who they say I am, I AM WHO I AM!”  Dammit!  (OK, I admit, I added that last word.)

The comedy sketch Hello, God? first performed by my old duo Mitch & Allen, addresses some common misconceptions about God, misconceptions based on speculation, rather than revelation. The point? If a person (divine or otherwise) does not choose to reveal themselves, we can never really know who they are.

In Hello, God? a young man attempts to reach God by telephone. Instead of contacting the God who is, he ends up dialing a series of misconceptions, i.e. God who isn’ts.

Dear Mina, I love you. And I pray that one day you’ll come to know the God who is, a God who, however uncustomizable, is infinitely more wonderful…

…than any God who isn’t!

You can read or download the full comedy sketch here:


And you can watch or download the old Mitch & Allen videos here:


About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Religion/Faith, Videos and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Hello, God?

  1. dawnlizjones says:

    Oh dear, how to love a person back to a God they thought they knew and grew to hate….sigh. Defining our own truth is not the definition of truth. It’s not just true because I believe it (or not). It’s true regardless of how I feel about it. Thanks for the lovingly uncompromising post. BTW, may I your little poem a few posts back, the one with the blue hands??

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “Customizable god.” Love that definition (LOL!) Never thought of it that way, but that is exactly what they are attempting to do. I have family who have rebelled against the Killjoy God. It is heartbreaking. It’s a very delicate process to try to reintroduce someone in that state to the God of the Bible who really does love them, warts and all.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Nancy Ruegg says:

    I pray for a number of people like Mena in my family/friend circle, that holy curiosity will compel them to seek truth. I like what Dawn said above: “Defining our own truth is not the definition of truth.” And your comment, Mitch, encapsulates the truth we want them to embrace: “The God who is, a God who, however uncustomizable, is infinitely more wonderful.” A heart-touching post, Mitch.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mél@nie says:

    as a Darwinian-Cartesian, I observe the 10 commandments of the Native Americans, thus I’d rather hum Adèle’s “hello!”… 🙂
    * * *
    thanx for visiting my virtual playground, lots of inspiration and a serene weekend! cheers! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Rough Grace | Mitch Teemley

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