Hillary Quits!

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WASHINGTON, April 1, 2016 (United Press Irrational)  “Apparently it takes a village to read my damn emails!” shouted former Secretary of State and current Secretary of Defensiveness Hillary Clinton, at a press conference this morning, where she announced her sudden and unexpected withdrawal from the presidential race.

“Me and Bill, we’re just sick of politics!” she explained, referring to her little-known husband William “Bill” Clinton, known for his modest and reclusive temperament. The Clintons plan to retire to their farm in Arkansas, where they will raise chickens for Chick-fil-A.

“Hillary is looking forward to getting back to her knitting,” Bill added, “and me, well, along with the farm I’ll be heading up a new program to train presidential interns.”

⇔ ⇔ ⇔

Note: the above is not meant to be a statement for or against any particular candidate (see The Donald for President). I will, however, confess to being a laugh wing radical.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
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6 Responses to Hillary Quits!

  1. What she did was throw a tantrum to prove a point. Joy-Starved-Manipulators are all the same. It’s best to observe, laugh, and pray for them but never take them too seriously. Life is too short.

    Like

  2. Secretary of defensiveness is a brilliant title. Thankfully I was too busy today to watch any of her testimony.

    Good post.

    James

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well, I’m not a gossip mind you, but I heard through the grapevine that Hill and Bill adopted a chia pet named Monica.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. tczumwalt says:

    Wonder when the movie comes out?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Pingback: The Donald for President! | Mitch Teemley

  6. mitchteemley says:

    Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:

    Can’t believe the media missed this!

    Liked by 2 people

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