Confession: I’m in Love with Another Woman

One Man Two Women SilhouetteToday is the 30th anniversary of my marriage. Does that make it a bad time to tell the woman I married that I’m in love with someone else?

An ex-friend once introduced his wife to the woman he was leaving her for. While his wife was in the hospital. With their newborn child. On Christmas Eve. Sheesh. The shmendrik should have written for General Hospital! Or better yet, been hit by a bus.

But I really love her.

Let me explain.

Over thirty years ago, I met a smart, beautiful girl with English pottery skin, chestnut hair, and unfathomable green eyes. I was crazy about her. In due time we became not just lovers, but best friends. Yes, I know it’s a cliché, but it was true; no one had ever known me the way she did. And so we married, had kids, the whole bit.

But that was then, this is now. I was a different man then. The girl I married suited me. More than suited me, loved me and cared for me with all her heart. (I’m sounding like a bigger and bigger jerk by the moment, aren’t I?) But in time I matured and came to need someone who understood the person I’d become.

Would it surprise you to learn that the girl I’ve fallen for is not a proverbial 20-something hottie? (Hey, I could get that if I wanted it!) To the contrary, she’s an older woman who’s experienced the slow-mo shattering of dreams, the left-handed appearance of joys, and so many of the things I’ve been through. She understands me in ways the woman I married never could. And I understand her more. Our love is deeper, more all-encompassing. Far from disliking the delicate lines around her eyes, I treasure them and never tire of caressing them. And although her hair is a lovely mahogany, I know that left to its own devices it would eventually be tinged with silver. And I would love that too. (There is one thing she shares with the woman I married: those unfathomable green eyes.) Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that my wife has also fallen in love with someone else? It’s an older man with white hair and a hint of wattling about his neck.

By now you may have ferreted out my National Enquirer-ish ruse: the girl I married and the older woman I’ve just described are the same person. And yet they’re not. Which, of course, is my point.

I once saw Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, on The Tonight Show and was influenced for awhile by her views. She was bee-busily laying the groundwork for the 70’s by, among other things, declaring that marriage to the same person one’s whole life was joyless incarceration, and that people should marry (at least) three times, like she did. She apparently never figured out that no one stays married to the same person their whole life. I wake up next to a different woman every day (print that, National Enquirer)! And she wakes up next to a different man. Which is part of what I love about being married (or at least being married to Trudy Teemley). And part of what’s so frickin’ challenging about it!

A friend once told me after his first child was born, “Our marriage is OK, but you know it’s not about us anymore; it’s about him (the baby).” It sounded so selfless. Selfless and fatal. I knew that moment that his marriage was doomed (they divorced five years later). Our children have thanked us dozens of times for loving each other, half-intuiting and half-understanding that it’s probably the greatest gift we ever gave them.

olhos+verdesSo “Happy Anniversary!” to the wonderful woman I’m with. And to all the women she’s been. But fair warning, darling: any day now I’ll be falling for a new woman, one who’s a little older than you.  And has unfathomable green eyes.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, For Pastors and Teachers, Memoir, Story Power and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Confession: I’m in Love with Another Woman

  1. The best of you that I’ve read so far. Happy anniversary to both of you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. BARBARA says:

    LOVE THIS!AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eric Odegard says:

    Happy Anniversary! – Well written

    Like

  4. jacobemet says:

    Fan – frickin’ – tastic! 😀
    I think the same of my wife and tell her she only gets better with age, I mark the years ahead with joy.
    Wonderful post, Mitch. And a great big congratulations! A beautiful testimony.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Kitty Bucholtz says:

    So sweet! 🙂 Happy Anniversary to both of you!

    Like

  6. Lucie says:

    See, I KNEW, it was your wife from the onset! “Cuz I know the man that you are…..isn’t it wonderful to love your partner more and more with the passing of time? Happy Anniversary. (It’s my oldest niece’s anniversary, as well….it’s a grand day to get married!) 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. theancients says:

    Happy Anniversary!
    Here’s to choosing to love!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Happy Anniversary, a moving and beautiful testament to your love of today. I love my daughters, I live for my daughters, but from the day our first daughter was born my husband and I made a vow to never go a week without a date night, and never go a night without time with just he and I. Ofcourse through the exhaustion of toddlers our us time has turned from game night to visit and snack with netflix night. 😉

    Like

  9. Mitch, you captured what it’s like to be so infatuated with that one special woman. Happy Anniversary you two. :O)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. canadaslim says:

    Love is truly a multi-faceted wonder and a woman doubly so. Woman continues to enchant, enlighten, entertain, enrich and envelop man. Truly a sweet surrender! Congratulations on your anniversary, you old lucky dog!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. There is such a thing as true love! Lovely piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Happy (belated) anniversary! Our 22nd was a week ago, and we both identify with this post 🙂 What is even more amazing in some ways is the fact that we have looked at the people we were BEFORE we met and can very clearly see we would NOT have got on then! Even a year before we met, the people we were at that point would not have fallen for each other, would not have seen that something in each other that said “this is the one”. Heck, five years previously we would have HATED each other on site, being the sort of people that the other one couldn’t stand! Isn’t God good and His timing perfect?! We met when we did – who we were then – and got married 9 months later (no I wasn’t pregnant!) and here we are 22 years later, loving each other anew every day 🙂

    Like

  13. *ahem* that should be “on sight” obviously…

    Like

  14. This is so beautiful!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Utterly charming. Happy Anniversary to you both. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. emmalmoore says:

    This is a great way to look at life with your spouse. If more people had this understanding they would not waste their time wonder in the highways and byways trying to find someone new and exciting. If they’d only look in their home they would recognize what has been there all the time.
    Thanks for visiting my blog. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. That’s neat, you’re lucky, and so’s she. Though the truth I’m sure is that it took some work. It’s not a cake walk.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. davidkitz says:

    So true, Mitch. After 39 years I’m in love with a different woman too. Heading out for a walk and lunch with her soon. And she is still married to a different man.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. nlswitz says:

    Happy anniversary and thanks for being such a role model for those around you. I always council new parents that my best advice for good parenting is to continue to love and care for one another.

    Liked by 1 person

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