Dear ISIS, or ISIL or Islamic State or whatever you’re calling yourselves this week,
I’m just curious. Is Allah really interested in having a nation of people who pretend to believe what you believe so that you won’t cut their heads off? Forcing others to act like donkeys doesn’t turn them into donkeys, you know. It just turns you into jackasses.*
(Not) Sincerely, Your Friend Mitch
* P.S. Sorry about the offensive term. I meant to say something much much more offensive.