Confession: I’m In Love With Another Woman

One Man Two Women SilhouetteToday is the 29th anniversary of my marriage. Does that make it a bad time to tell the woman I married that I’m in love with someone else?

An ex-friend once introduced his wife to the woman he was leaving her for. While his wife was in the hospital. With their newborn child. On Christmas Eve. Sheesh. The shmendrik should have written for General Hospital! Or better yet, been hit by a bus.

But I really love her.

Let me explain.

Over thirty years ago, I met a smart, beautiful girl with English pottery skin, chestnut hair, and unfathomable green eyes. I was crazy about her. In due time we became not just lovers, but best friends. Yes, I know it’s a cliché, but it was true; no one had ever known me the way she did. And so we married, had kids, the whole bit.

But that was then, this is now. I was a different man then. The girl I married suited me. More than suited me, loved me and cared for me with all her heart. (I’m sounding like a bigger and bigger jerk by the moment, aren’t I?) But in time I matured and came to need someone who understood the person I’d become.

Would it surprise you to learn that the girl I’ve fallen for is not a proverbial 20-something hottie? (Hey, I could get that if I wanted it!) To the contrary, she’s an older woman who’s experienced the slow-mo shattering of dreams, the left-handed appearance of joys, and so many of the things I’ve been through. She understands me in ways the woman I married never could. And I understand her more. Our love is deeper, more all-encompassing. Far from disliking the delicate lines around her eyes, I treasure them and never tire of caressing them. And although her hair is a lovely mahogany, I know that left to its own devices it would eventually be tinged with silver. And I would love that too. (There is one thing she shares with the woman I married: those unfathomable green eyes.) Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that my wife has also fallen in love with someone else? It’s an older man with white hair and a hint of wattling about his neck.

By now you may have ferreted out my National Enquirer-ish ruse: the girl I married and the older woman I’ve just described are the same person. And yet they’re not. Which, of course, is my point.

I once saw Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, on The Tonight Show and was influenced for awhile by her views. She was bee-busily laying the groundwork for the 70’s by, among other things, declaring that marriage to the same person one’s whole life was joyless incarceration, and that people should marry (at least) three times, like she did. She apparently never figured out that no one stays married to the same person their whole life. I wake up next to a different woman every day (print that, National Enquirer)! And she wakes up next to a different man. Which is part of what I love about being married (or at least being married to Trudy Teemley). And part of what’s so frickin’ challenging about it!

A friend once told me after his first child was born, “Our marriage is OK, but you know it’s not about us anymore; it’s about him (the baby).” It sounded so selfless. Selfless and fatal. I knew that moment that his marriage was doomed (they divorced five years later). Our children have thanked us dozens of times for loving each other, half-intuiting and half-understanding that it’s probably the greatest gift we ever gave them.

olhos+verdesSo “Happy Anniversary!” to the wonderful woman I’m with. And to all the women she’s been. But fair warning, darling: any day now I’ll be falling for a new woman, one who’s a little older than you.  And has unfathomable green eyes.

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Culture, For Pastors and Teachers, Humor, Memoir, Story Power and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Confession: I’m In Love With Another Woman

  1. Michael Wilhelm says:

    Very nice piece. Interesting concept Polygamy within Monogamy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a lovely anniversary tribute to your wife and happy marriage! Thank you for the inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Caroline says:

    Happy anniversary!!

    Like

  4. Pingback: Ebola Czar, Jimmy Fallon? | Mitch Teemley

  5. This is so beautiful and awesome. And right on point. I feel like I have changed so much since I first fell in love with my husband. And he has changed some, too. But the really beautiful thing is how love can grow and grow between two people even though they loved each other more than anyone else in the world to start with. How can something so infinite get so much bigger? It’s a mystery!

    Like

  6. Mel says:

    I read this when you put it out, but I didn’t comment. So beautiful!

    Like

  7. Pingback: I’ll Buy a Kindle When They Create a “Book Smell” App | Mitch Teemley

  8. Pingback: Complete or Finished? | Mitch Teemley

  9. barbara says:

    YOU ARE BOTH SO VERY LUCKY!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. mitchteemley says:

    Thank you, Barbara. Actually, I think luck has very little to do with it, though. Unless you mean we’re each lucky to be married to someone who’s doggedly committed to making the marriage work–for which we both thank God, the ultimate marriage counselor. His plan works!

    Like

    • Lucie says:

      Exactly what I was thinking, Mitch, when I saw Barbara’s comment…I, too, believe that “luck” has little to do with much of what we accomplish in relationships today. Relationships are alot of work and a MAJOR committment of your heart and soul and when you have 2 people BOTH committed to working on the relationship through thick and thin, then maybe that part’s “luck”, but the hard work has LITTLE to NOTHING to do with luck, in my humble opinion…….A nice tribute to the both of you. Happy (Belated) Anniversary!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. athenasaber says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. It’s truly something I hope to one day have. God bless you both.

    Like

  12. Pingback: This brought tears to my eyes… Reblog – Confession: I’m In Love With Another Woman | Divorce With Me

  13. athenasaber says:

    I hope you don’t mind but I reposted this on my blog. divorcewithme.wordpress.com. It really is beautiful to hear and I wanted to share.

    Like

  14. mitchteemley says:

    Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:

    Preachers, teachers, theatre groups: My post “Confession: I’m in Love With Another Woman” has been turned into a dramatic script! Perfect for kicking off talks about love, marriage, or Valentine’s Day!

    Like

  15. Ritu says:

    I live this! So true! You do have to change, or circumstance changes you… 😊

    Like

  16. de castro says:

    Love is a many splendour thrill
    In the morning miss
    Two lovers kissed
    And the world stood still

    Love is a way of giving
    A reason to be living
    A golden crown that makes a man a king

    song of 50 s …words rembered.

    Love is unconditional and a two way street.

    Que Sera sera

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I must be having a slow brain day or de castro is bending said brain too much (hallo de castro! *wave*) Oy vey! Either way, I did not see that coming. I like the line about you could get someone younger, ‘a hottie’ hmmm….

    Liked by 1 person

  18. de castro says:

    Dont be foolish Hombre…..better the devil you know……if you looking for “excitement” have a lover
    without the strings…..I travel extensively and as a batchelor boy at 71 …..still searching for a soul mate……many potentials but in our material world one must always be “aware” of the others motive.
    I have loved and lost
    I will love again

    Saying
    It is better to have loved and lost than not to love again.

    Am not from DR but lived there few months with a lover…..now have a lover wherever my travels take me…..freedom !😈

    Am writing my first book yet to find a publisher……HOOKERS 😇
    One of the oldest and least respected profession on the planet.
    Every coin has two sides……usually good/evil.
    Heads I win tails you loose ! Ha ha….
    Que Sera

    Like

  19. Pingback: Monogamy | Mitch Teemley

  20. What a lovely piece indeed! I like the witty way you have put across your point. This is a masterpiece; very edifying. I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. If I got the just of it! This is brilliant! Once my high school religion teacher received a alumni visiting the school right in the middle of our class. My teacher meet him outside the classroom and they spoke for about 3 to 5 minutes. When he came back he told us that the alumni insulted him by telling him that “he didn’t change one bit”…he basically said that he failed in life if he wasn’t a better person than he was just a few years ago!

    Cheers,

    Caleb

    Liked by 1 person

  22. de castro says:

    If ever/when ever we find our “soul mate” hope they do so too ?
    Love is not a “one way street” more a “dual carriage way”

    Still looking !😈

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Beautiful! Happy Anniversary and God bless you both I pray your marriage is a testimony to others. Lovely tribute to marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s