World Views “Glass-ified”

half-empty-glass

A Comprehensive Glass-ification of World Views

  • Optimist – The glass is ½ full
  • Pessimist – The glass is ½ empty
  • Darwin – The glass appeared at random and without cause. It belongs to whoever can kill the others and drink it first
  • Nietzche – The glass is dead!
  • Freud – Women suffer from glass envy. Men want to kill the glass and marry their mothers
  • Roman Catholic – You must be sprinkled from the glass as a baby
  • Baptist – No! You must be fully immersed in the glass as an adult!
  • Jewish – First you’ll have your glass-mitzvah, then you’ll marry a nice girl and become a doctor
  • New Ager – In a former life I was Cleopatra’s glass. You are the glass, I am the glass, we’re all the glass (only maybe me a little more than you)
  • Jedi – Trust the glass, Luke
  • Democrat –We must siphon off the top 1% of the glass to fill the bottom 99%
  • Republican – If we fill the top 1% first, it will trickle down to the other 99%
  • Communist – Glass warfare! Drinkers of the world unite! Arise and overthrow the pour-geoisie!
  • Rolling Stones – “I can’t get no glassifaction. I can’t get no drinky action”
  • Jimi Hendrix – “S’cuse me while I kiss this glass”
  • Devo – “You must drink it – drink it good”
  • Katy Perry – “I kissed a glass and I liked it!”
  • Taylor Swift – “Me and the glass are never, ever, ever getting back together!”
  • Kanye West “I am the glass!”
  • Dr. Seuss – Your glass is two sizes too small

What Glass-ified World Views would you add to the list?

About mitchteemley

Writer, Filmmaker, Humorist, Thinker-about-stuffer
This entry was posted in Humor, Popular Culture & Entertainment and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to World Views “Glass-ified”

  1. John S says:

    OK Mitch you hooked me * Jail Chaplain- In the jail, I would not recommend drinking it regardless if it is half full or empty.

    Like

  2. Dammit! I can’t think of one!

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. mitchteemley says:

    Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:

    How would you “Glass-ify” your world view?

    Like

  5. Semra Polat says:

    Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things…Surat An-Nur [24:35]

    Like

  6. Loved Freud and Dr. Seuss. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hemingway: Barman, I asked for WHISKEY and water.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Optimistic fundamentalist: my cup runneth over.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mathematician: if a plus b equals . .

    Like

  10. Hamlet: Is this a glass I see before me?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. An old and incontinent Hamlet: To pee or not to pee . . .

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Mary: Son, do something.

    Like

  13. Martha Stewart: Then you trim the the rose stems . , .

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  14. That’s all, folks. I’ve worked up thirst. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Nancy Ruegg says:

    So much cleverness in one place. I can see this creative pursuit of glass-ifieds catching on like Swifties did a while back!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Reblogged this on ckbooksblog and commented:
    Funny

    Like

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